Definitions
What is the definition of life skills?
Life skills are problem solving behaviours appropriately and responsibly used in the management of personal affairs
What does the acronym BEFIR stand for?
B - Body Language
E - Eye Contact
F - Following
I - I thou
R - Relaxation
What are the three levels of listening?
1. Internal Listening
2. Focused Listening
3. Global Listening
What are the different communication styles?
Passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, and assertive.
What are the ICF core competencies?
2. Embodies a coaching mindset
3. Establishes & maintains agreements
4. Cultivates trust & safety
5. Maintains presence
6. Listens actively
7. Evokes awareness
8. Facilitates client growth
What are metaphors used for in coaching?
Metaphors bypass the thinking brain and speak directly to the imaginative, feeling parts of a person. They can make an emotion clearer, create insight faster, or help a client express something that’s been hard to put into words. They open the door to creativity, clarity, and possibility in ways literal language often can’t.
Who was the life skills program initially designed for?
Socio-economically disadvantaged adults
Can you explain or give an example of each attending skill (BEFIR)?
Body Language: How you are showing up in the session. Seated position, shoulders rolled back
Eye contact: Keeping eye contact with the client and showing full presence.
Following: Following the clients body movements like touching hand on heart with the client.
I-Thou: Viewing the client as a whole being and not trying to fix them when they share something vulnerable.
Relaxation: Remaining calm and relaxed during the session. Co-regulating with the client.
Can you explain the three levels of listening?
1. Internal Listening: At Level One, our awareness is on ourselves. We listen to the words of the other person, but our attention is on what it means to us. At Level One, the spotlight is on me: my thoughts, my judgments, my feelings, my conclusions about myself and others.
2. Focused Listening: At Level Two, there is a sharp focus on the other person. Sometimes you can see it in each person’s posture: both are leaning forward, looking intently at each other. There is a great deal of attention on the other person and not much awareness of the outside world.
3. Global Listening: When you listen at Level Three, you listen as though you and the client were at the center of the universe receiving information from everywhere at once. It is as though you are surrounded by a force field that contains you, the client, and an environment of information. Level Three includes everything you can observe with your senses: what you see, hear, smell, and feel—the tactile as well as the emotional sensations. Level Three includes the action, the inaction, and the interaction.
What is the most effective communication style?
Assertive Communication
How does a coach cultivate trust & safety?
Seeks to understand the client within their context which may include their identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs
Demonstrates respect for the client’s identity, perceptions, style and language and adapts one’s coaching to the client
Acknowledges and respects the client’s unique talents, insights and work in the coaching process
Shows support, empathy and concern for the client
Acknowledges and supports the client’s expression of feelings, perceptions, concerns, beliefs and suggestions
Demonstrates openness and transparency as a way to display vulnerability and build trust with the client
What do metaphors do for clients?
Metaphors help clients express emotions, explore internal experiences, and discover new perspectives. They offer language when the right words don’t yet exist. They open the door to awareness, agency, and movement, all ingredients for transformation.
What is life coaching?
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines life coaching as “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
Coaching is a collaborative relationship between a trained coach and a client looking for self-discovery, self-awareness, and a deeper sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
What is an empathetic statement you could say when someone shares they recently broke up with their partner?
"I'm hearing how difficult it has been since you broke up with Tom. It makes sense to feel this way, considering you were so close and had been together for 2 years. I imagine anyone else in the same situation would feel the same way."
What are the stages of group development?
Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing, Adjourning
What are the stages of change?
Precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination
What does a coach do when they listen actively?
Considers the client’s context, identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs to enhance understanding of what the client is communicating
Reflects or summarizes what the client communicated to ensure clarity and understanding
Recognizes and inquires when there is more to what the client is communicating
Notices, acknowledges and explores the client’s emotions, energy shifts, non-verbal cues or other behaviors
Integrates the client’s words, tone of voice and body language to determine the full meaning of what is being communicated
Notices trends in the client’s behaviors and emotions across sessions to discern themes and patterns
What words do open questions start with?
"How" & "What"
What is the philosophy of coaching?
The client, not the coach, is the expert in their own life. People are not broken and do not need to be fixed. They are creative, resourceful, and capable of growth and change. It is the role of the coach to uphold this belief and support the client as they discover their own answers from within. As such, it is essential to regard each client as a whole person, considering their body, mind, heart, and spirit.
What are the 3 words of empathy? (hint: A,V,N)
Acknowledge, Validate, Normalize
Can you explain the stages of group development/characteristics of each?
Characteristics of the Forming Stage
• Getting oriented to the group’s objective. Testing personal ideas about the task. High need for structure. Testing boundaries for interpersonal relationships in the group. Feelings of dependency on the leader. Trying to handle feelings of anxiety about how this whole thing is going to happen. Low group maturity.
Characteristics of the Storming Stage
• Stormy emotional responses and resistance to necessary tasks. Confrontation with leaders about suitability of content. Beginnings of a struggle about control. Maintain high need for structure. Resisting group influence. Handling in the group about interpersonal issues. Competing for a central position in group. Testing whether group members can trust other members with hostility.
Characteristics of the Norming Stage
• Open exchange of different ideas. Consideration of content for various points of view. New standards for content evolve. Members begin to feel they are learning a lot. Low structure needs. Development of group cohesiveness. Resolution of conflicts. Members begin to take personal responsibility. Group is maturing rapidly.
Characteristics of the Performing Stage
• Emergence of solutions about content/tasks. New areas of content emerge from a healthy interpersonal climate. Less anxiety in problem solving and collaboration. Group becomes very productive. Very low structure needs. Individuals relate in an interdependent style. Roles are flexible and open. The interpersonal process now supports members in dealing with the tasks. The group becomes a working organization. Little time is spent working on conflicts.
Characteristics of the Adjourning Stage
• Members develop future resources for reference after the group has adjourned. Individuals prepare to re-enter their daily routine without the group. The group mulls over how new material and new skills will apply to their life (profession, relationships, etc.) Discovering that “I am my most valuable resource.” Saying goodbye to new friends/colleagues. Setting up networks to keep in touch. Cleaning up any unfinished business with other participants. Dealing with dependency on other group members. Leaving an effective and productive working group to return to individual situations.
Can you explain each stage of the stages of change?
1. Precontemplation
At this stage, clients are not yet ready or even aware that change is needed. They may have been referred by someone else or simply don’t identify a problem. Our work here is gentle and invitational — helping them become curious about themselves without pressure or expectation.
2. Contemplation
Here, clients begin to sense a need for change but feel torn — ambivalent, uncertain, or overwhelmed by the pros and cons. Our work is to hold the ambivalence with them. We help them explore what staying the same gives them, and what might be possible if they change.
3. Preparation
Clients are beginning to gather information, consider possibilities, and identify resources. They are readying themselves internally and practically to take a step forward. Our role is to help them see that preparation is progress.
4. Action
Clients are now stepping into change — trying new behaviours, applying new skills, and taking ownership of their process. Our role is to anchor their actions in self-awareness, not performance.
5. Maintenance
The client has integrated the new habits or mindset into their life. The work now becomes about stability, flexibility, and self-trust. Our role is to remain an ally — reinforcing what’s working and normalizing what changes.
6. Termination/Slip/Relapse
In coaching, “termination” doesn’t always mean the end of the coaching relationship — it means the client no longer needs structured focus around a particular goal. The change has become natural, integrated, and part of who they are. And sometimes, there’s relapse — a return to old behaviors or mindsets. Both are part of the spiral of change.
What does the ICF mean by Evokes Awareness in their core competencies?
Facilitates client insight and learning by using tools and techniques such as powerful questioning, silence, metaphor or analogy.
What are the different types of questions?
Open, Closed, Probing, Reflective, Hypothetical, Empathetic, Clarifying, Challenging, and Integrative.
What is the role and responsibilities of life coaches?
The ICF states that a coach’s responsibilities include:
• Discovering, clarifying, and aligning with what the client wants to achieve.
• Encouraging a client’s self-discovery.
• Eliciting client-generated solutions and strategies.
• Holding the client responsible and accountable.
A client-centered coach holds each client with unconditional positive regard, compassion, dignity, and respect. This personalized approach allows the coaching direction to come from the client themselves, from their beliefs and values, rather than the coach’s. The coach sets aside their judgments and worldview, sidesteps the impulse to give advice (which usually comes from one’s own opinions, values, and beliefs) and is guided by the client’s centre.
What is presence?
Being in the 'here' and 'now'
What are common defence mechanisms of group development?
When communication breaks down, these “horsemen” can take over:
1. Criticism – Attacking character
2. Defensiveness – Denying or counter-attacking
3. Contempt – Mockery or eye-rolling
4. Stonewalling – Shutting down or withdrawing
What are the steps of problem solving?
1. Recognize the Problem
You may feel a sense that something is not right.
2. Identify and Own It
Is this your problem? What does resolution look and feel like?
3. Brainstorm Alternatives
Go wild, no idea is too absurd!
4. Choose and Plan
Narrow your ideas into action steps.
5. Implement the Decision
Take the first small step.”
6. Evaluate & Reflect
“What worked, what didn’t, what did you learn?”
How does a coach Maintain Presence?
Is fully conscious and present with the client, employing a style that is open, flexible, grounded and confident.
Remains focused, observant, empathetic and responsive to the client
Demonstrates curiosity during the coaching process
Manages one’s emotions to stay present with the client
What is an example of a clarifying question?
"What exactly about that topic of setting boundaries with your boss would you like to focus on today?"
What is a limiting belief?
Limiting beliefs, which can also be core beliefs, are beliefs a person holds about themselves, limiting their capacities and abilities. These usually are not true, but since they are generally left unexamined, they are believed to be true.
Why is presence important in coaching?
The first foundational skill we practice in coaching is listening. There are many elements to listening effectively as a coach, but the first step is presence. Often when we listen, we’re caught up in our thoughts about what’s being shared, or how we’ll respond. This pulls us out of being present. When our focus, our presence, is with the client, we listen in a new, deeper way. When present, the coach is free from distraction, filters and assumptions. This kind of clean listening develops trust, safety and rapport with clients. This is how we listen as coaches!
What are the stages of the 5 phase lesson plan ?
1. Stimulus
2. Evocation
3. Objective Enquiry
4. Skills Practice
5. Evaluation
What is non-violent communication?
A form of communication that allows individuals to express a need they are not getting met.
What does it mean to facilitate client growth?
Partners with the client to transform learning and insight into action. Promotes client autonomy in the coaching process.
What is a skilled coach listening for?
“The coach listens for the clients’ vision, values, commitment, and purpose in their words and demeanor.”
Why is giving advice not effective in coaching?
Advice giving generally comes from ones own opinions, values, and beliefs, which does not allow the session to remain client centred. It also limits empathy and true listening.
What is empathy and why is it important in coaching?
Empathy is the ability understand the emotional experience of another, connect with that experience from within oneself, and have an appropriate, compassionate response. When someone is empathetic, they can fully understand what the other person is feeling without getting drawn into or getting taken over by that feeling.
When a client is accurately and fully empathized with, it is possible that the intensity of the emotion will increase as they feel more deeply into the experience.
Can you explain each stage of the 5 phase lesson plan?
Phase 1 – The Stimulus:
An activity, game, film, or problem for discussion. The purpose of the stimulus is to promote interest in the topic and to get participants either emotionally and/or intellectually stimulated.
Phase 2 – Evocation:
The opportunity for the students to express their opinions and feelings related to the stimulus. The coach asks questions and encourages the students to express their opinions and feelings. It is important for the coach to remain non-judgemental and encourage the expression of reactions.
Phase 3 – Objective Enquiry:
The “teaching moment” where the topic is addressed in detail. The coach acts as a teacher, or guide, to help the students seek out and relate new knowledge to the skill they defined. They give information about the lesson and open up the floor for input from students.
Phase 4 – Skill Practice:
Students apply the knowledge they have just acquired by putting it into practice. Participants are often asked to pair-up or group-up and either share a personal experience or perform a task while the student practices the new skills they have just learned.
Phase 5 – Evaluation:
The review of the lesson and assessment of student progress toward competence in the skills learned. In the final phase, usually through discussion, the students and coach assess student progress toward achievement of the skills identified in the lesson objective.
What is the framework for using NVC?
When I see/hear/notice…
I feel …
… because I need/value …
How do you demonstrate ethical practices?
Understands and consistently applies coaching ethics and standards of coaching.
Demonstrates personal integrity and honesty in interactions with clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders
Is sensitive to clients’ identity, environment, experiences, values and beliefs
Uses language appropriate and respectful to clients, sponsors and relevant stakeholders
Abides by the ICF Code of Ethics and upholds the Core Values
Maintains confidentiality with client information per stakeholder agreements and pertinent laws
Maintains the distinctions between coaching, consulting, psychotherapy and other support professions
Refers clients to other support professionals, as appropriate
Why do we ask questions in coaching?
We ask questions to evoke, not to instruct. When a coach asks a thoughtful question, they:
Empower the client to find their own insight.
Strengthen self-trust and agency.
Deepen emotional awareness and responsibility.
Questions shift the focus from problem to possibility.
When clients discover their own answers, the learning is embodied, not borrowed.
What is the difference between counselling and coaching?
Coaching vs. Counseling: Coaching focuses on the present and future, while counseling addresses past traumas for healing.
Coaching sometimes has healing side effects, but it is not a healing or therapeutic modality. Clients who need or want therapy should be referred to a counsellor.
Intellectual understanding of the situation, Sympathizing or commiserating, Giving advice (solutions) or trying to fix, Explaining, Correcting, Telling a story or one upping, Shutting down feelings, giving reassurance before the person is complete, Educating or evaluating, Interrogating
Can you name the main focus, typical thoughts, and typical behaviours of each stage of group development?
Orientation Stage (Forming)
The main concerns of this stage are typically centered around belonging. Typical questions include: Will others like me? Will I be accepted. Will I know as much as the others? If I speak, will others listen/care? What will the leader think of me? Can I trust this group? These questions create feelings of anxiety in the individual group members and then often deal with these anxieties by testing out different behaviours in order to size up the situation.
Dissatisfaction Stage (Storming)
The outstanding characteristics of this stage are frustrayon, conflict, lack of unity, and testing out behaviours. Typical questions include: Are we doing this the right way? What is the right way? Who is going to make the decisions? Who is going to tell us what to do? Can I be open here? Members at this stage of the process still have some anxiety, and feelings of hostility towards the leader and other members may arise. Some members try to express their individuality too much too soon, which can increase feelings of frustration and animosity in others. At this point, resistance to tasks can show up in a stormy way: “Who wants to do this anyway?” “This is dumb!” etc. During this stage, members can become argumentative, anxious, and ambivalent with the leader.
Resolution Stage (Norming)
This stage is not necessarily as definitive as other stages but starts with a decrease in dissatisfaction and ends with neutral or positive feelings toward others in the group. Typical questions include: What is another way for us to work together? How do you feel about….? How can we do this? What are your ideas? How can I maintain my independence and still work with others? At this stage, members begin to listen to each other, which results in the gradual development of unity, validation, and cohesion. There is still the possibility of challenging feelings toward members who are still resistant, but typically members are feeling a sense of safety, calmness, confidence, and harmony.
Production Stage (Performing)
By the time a group reaches this stage, trust is high within the group and there is a strong sense of unity. Typical questions include: Can I discover more about my learning process? What is a way we can do this that will satisfy everyone? How can we solve these problems together? What more can we accomplish? How can we work with everyone’s strengths to meet our goals/objectives? At this stage group members are feeling less anxiety or hostility and are able to function free of these feelings and with less need for processing. Some members will assume more directive roles which will be welcomed. The group has developed strong problem-solving skills, and collaboration and production are high. Here the group can stay focused on the tasks at hand and is invested in completion of the tasks.
Termination Stage (Adjourning)
This final stage of the group process is a time of consolidation. The members will review their experience and achieve understanding and insight of their process. Typical questions include: Where do we go from here? How can I continue my learning in this area/topic? Will we keep in touch? What will life be like without this group (re-entry)? At this stage, the members are looking ahead to a time without the group, or “grouplessness” (Berman-Rossi, 1993). This is also a time of looking at the future and considering how to integrate and transfer the learning of the group to real life. Together the group members start to share feedback with each other, what it was like participating in different roles, and what each member learned about themselves. Members will be feeling both accomplishment, and a sense of loss and sadness. This will happen naturally; however, the leader may also facilitate this discussion.
What do you do if a client relapses during the stages of change?
We focus on:
• Evaluating what triggered relapse with compassion and curiosity, not judgment.
• Reassessing motivation and identifying barriers.
• Guiding clients to re-enter the process where they are — not where they “should” be.
• Normalizing the cycle as part of sustainable, human transformation.
What does it mean to embody a coaching mindset?
Develops and maintains a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client-centered.
What does SMARTER Goals stand for?
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Action Plan
R - Realistic
T - Timely
E - Emotional Motivation
R - Relevance