Roasts
She’s got color-coded planners, a shopping cart that’s never empty, and a closet that could qualify for federal disaster aid—yet somehow, she’s still convinced she might not be ready.
Who is Alex?
While most second cousins just send Christmas cards, Lilah’s Italian relatives are casually helping bankroll the restoration of this iconic historic monument.
What is the Colluseum?
This individual is so mentally unwell, they genuinely believe they are this citrus-based breakfast beverage—and live in constant fear of being tipped over.
It was 3 a.m., the basement lights were low, and the vibes were immaculate as the squad stayed up way too late listening to this legendary playlist by who?
What is Sloane's Freaky Playlist?
Eight years post-breakup, someone finally re-entered the field—and this blond, long, and world-rocking individual made sure the bed was hitting the wall all night long
Who is Charlie Carpenter?
Name this emotional historian, who has spent four years studying one ex like it’s her full-time job, yet still swears she’s “totally fine now.”
Who is Olivia?
With looks straight out of a toy aisle dream, Lilah was once scouted to model for this iconic doll brand known for its glamorous lifestyle and perfect hair.
What is American Girl Doll?
While most see a simple bucket of soaps and lotions, he sees a “personal spa retreat” and refuses to explain why it’s always mysteriously missing from the bathroom.
What is a jerk off bucket?
Perry and Lilah’s chaotic twist on a vodka cranberry with a citrus kick—notorious for its bold flavor and its name that had everyone giggling before the shot even hit the table
What was the most insane HU of the entire year?
What is Touella and Kesh?
She’s got more block/unblock records than the Guinness World Book, and somehow thinks this strategy will finally fix her HU situation.
Through an unexpected romance with Tina Fey, Lilah’s dad became the real-life inspiration for this beloved character
Who is Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls?
In the aftermath of their encounter, we didn’t speak in full sentences—just one word: No one knew what it meant, but somehow… everyone felt it.
What is an "Eater"?
After a night out, Lilah found herself in a horror movie scene when this friend’s shower throw-up drifted over and made direct contact.
Who is Sloane?
During Champagne and Shackles, this pregame menace managed to throw up on himself while handcuffed to Lilah!
Nick Lebresco
Living with this girl is like living with a glitchy Sims character. Half the time she disappears mid-sentence, and the other half she’s saying stuff that sounds like it came from a Reddit thread no one should read. She’s got that rare talent of being both totally unpredictable and entirely botted — like if ChatGPT got drunk and tried to flirt with a parking cone.
Who is Perry?
When she’s not studying or getting vomited on in the shower, Lilah serves looks and tacos at this trendy spot known for tequila and chaos.
Mexiquila
To the untrained eye, it was just a rag or towel tossed on the corner of the bed.
To Sloane, it was a vital tool for her late-night solo missions.
What is Sloane's Rag?
Perry and Lilah's first two edible experience wasn’t at a party—it was with this football player, whose game-day highlights were matched only by the post-edible conversations
This lucky (or unlucky?) blonde boy made history by being kissed by both Ava and Lilah—leaving the squad to forever refer to him as “wiped.”
who is Ben Douglas?
While the rest of the squad was out making memories (and mistakes), this scholar-in-hiding was busy reserving a permanent seat at the library—rumor has it, she even tried to pay rent there.
Who is Lilah?
Every Halloween, Lilah and her childhood bestie would hit the neighborhood dressed as this classic couple
Who are Sandy and Danny from Grease?
Fresh from a 6 a.m. walk of shame, Sloane blessed the group chat with a half-asleep selfie and this now-legendary, typo-filled farewell.
What is "Good Night Angles"?
In one of the most chaotic betrayals of the night, Alex and Bella decided the best move was to call this person while Lilah was blacked out—sparking instant tears, panic, and permanent trust issues.
Who is Lilah's Mom?
Name the MVP who thinks persistence is the key to winning Lilah’s heart — even if he’s been left on read 17 times
Who is DJ?