What Makes a Conflict Escalate?
A minor conflict is generally easier to resolve and doesn't cause long-term physical or emotional harm.
What happens in your brain when you experience a strong emotion?
Sensory input goes to the amygdala (feelings alarm), which releases hormones, making you feel the emotion in your body.
What is Perspective?
Perspective is how someone thinks or feels about something based on experience or personal preference.
What are the four steps for conflict resolution?
1. What is the conflict 2. What are the possible solutions? 3. For each solution, consider the consequences. 4. What's the best solution?
Is it usually hard or easy to take responsibility for something you did that caused harm or a conflict? Why?
Example: It is usually hard because admitting when you are wrong can feel scary, shameful, or upsetting but you know you have to in order to help the situation.
What is a major conflict?
A major conflict is harder to resolve, may have serious consequences, and can causes physical or emotional harm.
Why is it difficult to keep our cool when experiencing a strong emotions?
Your cortex works slower than your amygdala and the cortex can get overwhelmed by emotions.
What is perspective-taking?
Perspective-taking is the process of being able to identify and understand another person's feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants.
When describing the conflict, what is it important to do?
It’s important to describe a conflict in a way that captures everyone’s perspective and doesn’t blame anyone.
Reframe this unhelpful thought:
"I am a bad friend because I hurt my friend's feelings".
Example: "I didn't mean to hurt my friend's feelings and I can apologize and make amends".
Think about social conflicts you have seen escalate. What is the most common reason these conflicts escalate?
Examples: High emotions, yelling, gossiping, assuming the worst about people or the situation, lack of communication.
What are 3 examples of emotional management strategies?
Examples: Walking away, counting, slow breathing, reframing the situation, meditation
What can not taking someone's perspective in a conflict lead to?
Jumping to conclusions and conflict escalation.
What can you do to understand another person’s perspective?
Listen, ask questions, keep an open mind, and imagine what the situation is like for the other person.
What could you say to yourself when you have made a mistake to manage your feelings?
"I am not a bad person for making a mistake"
"Everyone makes mistakes"
"I want to be a good friend so I need to own up"
"I can make things right"
Janet shows up an hour late to study with Henry at the library. Henry yells at Janet that she is disrepectful and he doesn't want to study with her anymore and storms out. Janet posts on social media that Henry is a sensitive baby. Now they are not talking. What did the characters say or do that escalated the conflict?
Janet showed up late.
Henry yelled at her and left without hearing her side.
Janet posted on social media.
Name three emotional management strategies that you use.
Drawing, listening to music, playing with a pet, think positive thoughts, slow breathing, yoga, go for a walk, dance, meditation.
Example: My brother borrowed my switch and brought it back broken. He explained that he tripped and fell while getting off the bus and broke the switch in the process. Knowing that it was an accident and he was sorry helped me feel less angry.
What is a compromise?
Compromise is an agreement where both people give up some of what they want or need.
What does it mean to make amends?
Making amends means making up for doing something wrong or doing something to repair the harm.
What are the four common reasons why conflicts can escalate?
Making assumptions, not managing your emotions, jumping to conclusions, and involving others.
Act out an emotional management strategy and have your team guess what it is.
Walk away, counting, slow breathing, meditation, listening to music, dancing, having a snack
How can using emotional management strategies make perspective-taking easier?
Emotional management strategies can help you feel more calm and give you time for your cortex to catch up to your amygdala so you can think more clearly instead of being clouded by emotions.
Share a time when you reached a compromise with someone. What was the conflict? What was the compromise? Where you happy with this solutions?
My mom set my curfew at 8:30pm but I wanted to stay out later. We talked about it and agreed on 9pm. I wasn't super happy with the solution since I only got 30 more minutes, but I know that I can ask again later when she trusts me more.
When someone apologizes, how do you know it’s sincere?
Tone of voice sounds honest, facial expression shows regret, words include more than just “sorry”