Thought/Feeling/Action
Something our bodies do
actions
I missed the winning shot during basketball/soccer/baseball/volleyball and my team lost.
Coach A says: what is wrong with you?! You should have known better. We lost because of you!
Coach B might say: Don't blame yourself, this happens. We can practice some more for future games.
making a big deal out of something small or think it’s the worst ever!
1. fortune telling
2. blowing things up
3. blaming
2. blowing things up
I failed my test because I am stupid.
1. I can study harder next time, it's just one test
2. the test was completely unfair
3. a lot of kids did better than me
1. I can study harder next time, it's just one test
Ideas, something our brains tell us
Thoughts
I forgot it was my friend's birthday and didn't get them a gift/make a card.
Coach A: you are a terrible friend for forgetting
Coach B might say: everyone forgets things sometimes. let's think of a way you can still celebrate your friend.
having a negative/mean belief about yourself and thinking it describes everything about you
1. negative labeling
2. mind reading
3. I'll do it later
1. negative labeling
I can never be happy again.
1. I want to hurt the person who hurt me
2. nothing will make me sad ever again
3. I am doing what I can to take care of me and heal
3. I am doing what I can to take care of me and heal
Emotions, we feel in our hearts and bodies
Feelings
I yelled at my family member.
Coach A: you are a terrible person and everyone hates you.
thinking if I feel it, it must be true/ ignoring the truth (emotional reasoning)
1. should statements
2. setting the bar too high
3. feelings as facts
3. feelings as facts
I can never trust people again.
1. trusting people is dangerous
2. I can learn how to trust people again and figure out who I can and can't trust in the future
3. I can trust any person who smiles at me
2. I can learn how to trust people again and figure out who I can and can't trust in the future
Talking to a friend
Action
Having a hard time focusing in class.
Coach A: hurry up and get to work. You aren't trying hard enough.
Coach B: I see you're a bit distracted. Let's do something that helps us focus (stretching our legs, fidgeting) and ask for help if we need it. You got this.
everything is either your fault or someone else when something goes wrong even if you had nothing to do with it or it’s no one’s fault (personalizing)
1. ignoring the good
2. blaming
3. blowing things up
2. blaming
everything bad that ever happens is always my fault.
1. nothing is ever my fault
2. sometimes I make mistakes. and sometimes bad things happen that I can't control
3. other people are always at fault
2. sometimes I make mistakes. and sometimes bad things happen that I can't control
"I can't control my anger."
Thought!
The feeling would be "anger"
I made a mistake.
Coach A: you don't deserve forgiveness.
Coach B: even people who make mistakes deserve forgiveness. we can try to learn from this.
thinking you know what will happen in the future and that it will be bad (predicting the future)
1. mind reading
2. feelings as facts
3. fortune telling
3. fortune telling
The abuse I went through was all my fault.
1. bad things happen to kids a lot
2. my caregivers will always keep my safe
3. It's not my fault, and I am strong enough to get through this
3. It's not my fault, and I am strong enough to get through this