Girl Math
You returned $70 worth of merchandise to Target and purchased $90 worth of clothes. How much did you spend?
$20
James attends a party with 50 people, but he only knows 2 of them. He spends 1/3 of the time awkwardly standing near the snack table, 1/4 of the time in the bathroom pretending to text, and the rest of the time trying to leave unnoticed. How much time does James spend actually socializing?
Not enough to make any new friends.
Johnny put a load of laundry in the washer on Tuesday. His wife notices on Thursday and runs it again, moves it to the dryer, folds the laundry and puts it away. Who did the laundry?
Johnny
The vet has put your dog on a diet that requires no more than 2 treats per day. You give your dog a treat in the morning, and later a friend stops by. How many treats can your friend give your dog?
As many as they want; treats from friends don't count.
This is the answer to the equation Kady Heron answers during Mathletes in the movie Mean Girls.
What is “The limit does not exist”?
You have a $2,000 travel budget for a weekend away with your boyfriend. Your trip is in October. You spent $1,500 on flights and hotels in March. How much do you have to spend while on your trip?
$2,000
Chris decides to binge-watch a TV series with 10 episodes, each lasting 45 minutes. If it takes him 15 minutes after each episode to debate whether to continue watching, and another 10 minutes to reheat snacks, how long will it take him to finish the series?
Far too long for one sitting
Chad lists his height on Tinder as 6’1”. How tall is Chad?
5’10”
(Points for any answer under 5')
You set a monthly budget for pet expenses at $200. You buy food for $80, treats for $40, and $80 worth of toys. How much of your budget have you spent?
$120 - toys don't count!
This is the number that is funnier than 24, according to Spongebob Squarepants.
What is “25”?
You returned $130 worth of Amazon packages. On your way home, you stop at the mall. You purchase $80 worth of 3-wick candles at Bath and Body Works, on sale for $12 each. How much money did you make?
$50
Alex sends a text that he immediately regrets. If it takes 10 seconds for the text to be delivered and 3 seconds to start panicking, how long does it take for Alex to draft an apology?
The apology will never come because Alex will ghost the person instead.
Roy makes $45,000 a year in his dream job as a zookeeper and zero dollars a year (so far) trading cryptocurrency. His fiance, Susan, earns $95,000 a year as an accountant. Who asks whom for a prenup?
Roy asks Susan.
You feed your dog every day at 6pm sharp. When daylight savings ends, what time does your dog demand to be fed?
5pm. This is the new dinner time until daylight savings resumes in March. It's not worth fighting it.
In The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, this is “the meaning of life, the universe, and everything”
What is “42”
You buy your friend’s lunch and they pay you back, $20, in cash. You purchase a $20 lip gloss at Sephora. How much did you spend?
$0
You’re trapped in an elevator for 1 minute with your boss. If there’s a 50% chance you’ll discuss the weather and a 30% chance of awkward silence, what is the probability that you’ll blurt out something embarrassing?
80%, because you're that person.
Kevin has been in flight school for three months and has 400 hours of flight experience. He has never flown alone. David likes planes and he’s been on a few of them. Which of them believes they could safely land a plane in an emergency?
Both.
You own 15 toys for your cat, but they only play with 3 of them. You buy 5 new toys. How many toys does your cat now care about?
In Back to the Future, this is the speed the DeLorean must reach to travel through time.
What is 88 MPH?
You see the most magnificent sweater on sale at Nordstrom for $160. You will wear it every day until the temperature rises above 80 degrees. How much did you spend?
Basically nothing, if you count cost per wear.
Your boss schedules a 30-minute meeting that could have been an email. If 15 minutes are spent on small talk and 5 minutes are wasted on technical difficulties, how many minutes are spent actually getting anything done?
0 minutes; you’ll have to schedule another meeting to actually solve the issue.
Tommy asks Rachel to split all of their expenses 50/50. Rachel is an egalitarian who does not mind this; she too desires a partner that will split everything 50/50. Tommy makes $120,000 a year as a financial analyst. Rachel teaches elementary school and earns $50,000 a year. What percentage of their rent does Tommy think Rachel should pay?
50%
You and your partner set a $5,000 maximum budget for what you're willing to spend on your cat. After your cat gets into a fight with a neighborhood cat, the vet bills total $8,500. What do you do?
Spend the $8,500.
Without hesitation.
This is the percentage chance C-3PO gives Han and Leia for successfully navigating an asteroid field.
What is 3,720 to 1?