Finish the Onion Headline
_____ Man Passionate Defender of What He Imagines Constitution To Be
Area
This Garbage Son is named after his politician father who seemingly hates him. Just caught COVID!
Don Jr.
Trudy Styler
This ginger comedian had himself quite the long history of exposing himself to female comedians
Louis CK
ONLY for kids
Trix
God Answers Prayer of Little Boy: "___" Says God
No
This Garbage Son famously didn't know how to properly say "Nuclear" even if that's a reason we invaded a certain few countries
George W Bush
Sting's solo career began in this year
1985
"Girls" star who got into a Twitter fight with an animal shelter over a dog she got from there
Lena Dunham
Appropriating Irish culture, at what cost?
Lucky Charms
Winner Didn't Even Know It Was _____-______ Contest
Pie-Eating
This Garbage Son used to post whimsical, faux philosophical tweets; was a karate kid
Jaden Smith
What's Sting's actual name?
Gordon Sumner
This HBO Comedian has some hard words regarding religion, and separately got into a 2017 scandal for dropping the ol' N word
Bill Maher
A chocolatey, sugary breakfast courtesy of your favorite 1960s cartoon
Cocoa Puffs
Stupid
This Garbage Son got caught shoplifting in China as a UCLA basketball star
Liangelo Ball
What was the thing that inspired the name "Sting"?
His Black and Yellow striped sweater
Star of her own E show for a while, kept getting her Instagram posts removed for trying to recreate the Putin "topless on a horse" photo
Chelsea Handler
This mascot probably doesn't even have his boating license
Captain Crunch
Perky "_____" Has Own Government, Laws
Canada
This Historical Garbage Son had quite the drinking problem, later being disowned by his presidential father in the 1700s
Charles Adams
Sting is credited with playing this fun little Middle Age stringed instrument, according to Wiki
The LUTE
Saw himself as more of a philosopher than a comedian; waxed poetic about the "Seven Dirty Words"
George Carlin
He's a vampire who I guess dabbles in the sugary cereal game. AH AH AH AH AH
Count Chocula