IFS in Real Life!
A part says, "If I don't do everything perfectly, everyone will think I'm a failure."
What is a Manager?
"I made one mistake. I'm terrible at my job."
All or Nothing Thinking
Ignoring emotions makes them disappear faster.
Myth
Name three grounding skills.
examples: meditation, deep breathing, body scans
Someone walks past you without saying hello.
Rejection/Abandonment/Social Anxiety
Someone gets into an argument and immediately goes drinking or gambling.
What is a Firefighter trying to numb distress?
"My friend hasn't texted me back. They must be mad."
Mind Reading
Anxiety can produce physical symptoms.
Fact!
You rate your anxiety as an 8/10 before a job interview. Which DBT distress tolerance skill might help in the moment?
A supervisor says,
"Can we talk tomorrow?"
Possible Answer:
Fear of failure, uncertainty, criticism
A person becomes extremely emotional after receiving constructive criticism that reminds them of childhood rejection.
What is an Exile being activated?
"I've had anxiety all week. Nothing is ever going to get better."
Catastrophizing
Healthy boundaries usually improve relationships over time.
Fact!
You wake up feeling depressed and don't want to leave bed. What's one opposite action you could take?
Possible answer: Attend group anyway, even if you stay quiet at first.
Your partner takes longer than usual to respond to a text.
Possible Answer:
Abandonment fears, anxious attachment
Name five of the 8 C's of Self.
calm, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, clarity, creativity, connectedness
"I got promoted, but they probably just felt bad for me."
Discounting the Positive
People relapse/regress because they simply don't care enough.
Myth!
Your Inner Critic says:
"You're going to embarrass yourself."
Respond from Self instead.
"You've felt embarrassed before, and that's okay, it doesn't mean you will embarrass yourself this time."
A family gathering where alcohol is present but you are trying to stay sober.
Possible Answer:
Substance use trigger, family conflict, stress
Explain the difference between Self and a calm Manager.
Self leads with curiosity and compassion without needing control, while a Manager may appear calm but is motivated by protection and preventing pain.
Give an example of Emotional Reasoning from your own life (or make one up).
*check if example is emotional reasoning*
examples:
Self-compassion means letting yourself avoid responsibility.
Myth!
Your friend says:
"I don't deserve kindness because of my past mistakes."
Give a compassionate response using CBT reframing
Example: We've all made mistakes because we are human, you still deserve to give yourself grace in this moment.
Seeing photos of friends hanging out without you.
Possible Answers:
Comparison, loneliness, rejection, FOMO