That's What She Said
“Doctor, what is more serious a head injury or a foot injury”
“A head injury”
“Well you don’t have all the information …”
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxZk2ywHVhyvvrsF8U1fdDSXXYwIQEHpzt?si=89K2ZK5BSeOY2MFZ
Magnification
“What about us Michael?”
“I don’t know probably not” *Begins to cry*
https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxRaVWblAQEef5mcwcxavESmyLrUhJSspV?si=1-aWGs6tiHbYYEHQ
Catastrophizing
“Thanks to Toby, I have a very strong prejudice against Human Resources. I believe that the department is a breeding ground for monsters. What I failed to consider though, is that not all monsters are bad … ”
Overgeneralization
“A woman shouldn’t need to be hit with her car to learn that she may have rabies”
Magical Thinking
“Whats under your shirt?”
“Oh. It’s a ream of a paper. Thought you might hit me.”
Fortune Telling
“... Oh, my God. It was so embarrassing. That was- oh. I don't even have Jan's cell phone number and I hate her! She won't give it to me. I was like, 'Oh, I guess I'm a loser. 'A luh-whooooo a za her'. Too far! God! Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for the advice.”
Emotional Reasoning
“I can't do this! This is pathetic, isn't it? I am such an idiot. I gave up the only job I ever loved to do this?”
?
"I declare bankruptcy!" *Cuts all his cards*
Jumping to Conclusions
“I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never just be friends …”
All-or-nothing thinking