Core Mindfulness
Name the three states of mind.
emotional, logical, and wise mind
The three "what" skills are...
Observe, Describe, Participate
The three "how" skills are...
Non-judgmentally, one-mindfully, effectively
What are the three potential goals in interpersonal situations?
Objectives effectiveness, relationship effectiveness, and self-respect effectiveness.
You use this skill to ask for what you want
Wise mind is the balance of these two other states of mind
Emotion mind and reasonable mind.
Why do we use the "what" skills
To fully participate in what we are doing.
What are "how" skills used for?
HOW we practice mindfulness
What is Relationship Effectiveness?
Improving or maintaining good relationships, resolving conflicts before they get overwhelming.
You use this skill for Relationship Effectiveness.
GIVE skill.
The three mindfulness skills are...
Wise mind, "what" skills, and "how" skills
Name this skill: 1) Step back and be aware of the experience 2) Notice without judging or labeling 3) Take in information and notice new things
Observe
Non-judgmentally is...
Looking at just the facts, not judging, letting go of what is "fair" or "unfair," "right" or "wrong"
What is Self-Respect Effectiveness?
Acting in a manner that maintains or increases your self-respect.
FAST stands for
be Fair, no Apologies, Stick to values, and be Truthful
Emotion mind is...
Driven by emotions/feelings, passionate, can be intense, can cause us problems if not balanced
How can using the "describe" skill be helpful?
Gets you out of the "haze," gets you grounded, forces you to take a pause from our immediate reactions and feelings.
Name this skill: Doing one thing at a time with full attention, letting go of distracting thoughts, feelings, or actions, concentrating your mind, doing one thing at a time
What is objective effectiveness?
Getting others to do what you ask them to do or saying no and making it stick
GIVE stands for
be Gentle, show Interest, Validate, and use an Easy manner
Reasonable mind is...
Logical, fact-based, scientific, planned, calculated, thoughtful
What does it mean to "participate"
Completely being one with an experience, fully and completely being a part of what you are doing
Doing what works in the situation, doing what will make things better, acting skillfully, keeping the eye on the prize
Name at least one factor in deciding in your intensity of asking or saying no in an interpersonal situation.
Capability, priorities, respect, rights, authority, relationship, long versus short-term, reciprocity, homework, timeliness.
DEAR MAN stands for...
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate