Thanksgiving Jokes
This key has legs and can't open a door.
What is a tur-key?
An extreme phobia of Rudolph and his friends.
What is "Severe Reindeer Fear"?
This is Brother Tim's prayer and great reminder every Sunday Morning.
What is "Thank God for waking us all up this morning"?
From a Charles Dickens classic, these are the three spirits that visit Ebenezer Scrooge to show him the true meaning of Christmas.
Who are the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future?
Feuerzangenbowle, translating to "fire tong punch" is made in this country by lighting a rum-soaked sugar cone on fire above mulled win, allowing caramelized, boozy sugar to drip into the wine.
What is Germany?
To whom was the Revelation of Jesus Christ given?
Who is John?
Home to our own Uncle Larry, this fast-food restaurant's slogan is "finger lickin' good".
What is KFC?
This is a turkey's favorite type of weather.
What is fowl weather?
A very jolly watercraft meant to take red berries across the river.
What is a "Merry Cranberry Ferry"?
At Mosaic, we always end service by saying "Please go home in that blessing but also stay for...
What is "brunch"?
In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Aunt Bethany recites this when asked to say grace at dinner.
What is the Pledge of Allegiance?
A circular cake laced with dried figs, almonds, and pine nuts and marsala wine infused into the pastry dough is a traditional Christmas dessert called buccellato, eaten in this country.
What is Italy?
Sicily also acceptable
This is the shortest book in the Bible.
What is 3rd John?
"The Best a Man Can Get"
What is Gillette?
This is the best way to fix a broken pumpkin.
What is a pumpkin patch?
A very civil disagreement on what color the bulbs on a Christmas tree should be.
What is a "Polite Light Fight"?
This is Pastor Nate's prized possession, do not spill water on it, do not track salt or snow, and absolutely do not scuff it by dragging chairs.
What is the church floor?
In this Christmas movie, a successful businesswoman living in the city returns unexpectedly to her small, rural hometown and falls in discovers the true meaning of Christmas while falling in love with a lumberjack from her past.
What is every Hallmark movie?
In this country, they drink Ponche Navideño, made with apple, cinnamon, guavas, and tejocotes.
What is Mexico?
Which human author wrote down the most words in the Bible?
Who is Moses?
"For the Best Bottoms in Town"
What is Pampers?
This is another name for a running turkey.
What is fast food?
Old Saint Nick has recently moved to a city in Georgia and replaced milk with a particular brand of orange soda.
What is "Atlanta Fanta Santa"?
By way of reference, this is the darker of the two communion drink offerings.
What is the juice?
In this movie, Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye form the famous Wallace and Davis song and dance team after returning from WWII. They use their fame to save their old general's ski lodge and fall in love with their co-stars while doing so.
What is "White Christmas"?
In this country, sponge cake is rolled and filled with whipped cream and mascarpone and decorated with chocolate frosting resembles a yule log or Bûche De Noël.
What is France?
Jesus accused this church of being lukewarm in Revelations.
What is the church at Laodicea?
"Crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery, _____"
What is Butterfinger?
You could call an attractive Pilgrim this.
What is a Puri-ten?
Three matching displays of turkey innards.
What is a "Triplet Giblet Exhibit"?
These are the types of questions we ask about our Scripture passage every Sunday morning.
What are "head, heart, and hands questions"?
This is the city where the McAllister family lives.
What is Chicago?
Bibingka, a rice cake baked in banana leaves topped with butter, cheese, and coconut, is a winter holiday dessert in this country.
What is the Philippines?
These flowers were given to Rachel by Leah in order to spend a night with Jacob.
What are mandrakes?
"We exist to help people pass love on"
What is Butterball?