Strategies
What is "Power Self Talk"?
Saying something encouraging to yourself inside your head to change your mindset. For example: "That was annoying, but I'm choosing to have a great day anyway!"
You miss the winning shot in a basketball game, and a teammate groans out loud, "Why did you even shoot that?!"
Best Strategy: Power Self-Talk
Script / Action: Say internally, "Even pros miss shots. I'm playing for fun," roll your shoulders back, and get ready for the next play.
You try to share a funny joke during group work, but no one laughs—they just stare at you for a second and keep talking about something else.
Best Strategy: Power Self-Talk
Script / Action: Chuckle silently to yourself and think: "Not every joke hits! Moving on," then dive back into the group assignment.
As you walk past a table in the cafeteria, two classmates lean in, whisper to each other, look right at you, and giggle.
Best Strategy: Power Self-Talk
Script / Action: Walk past with good posture and think: "I don't know what they're talking about, and it doesn't change who I am."
What is "Physical Shake-Off"?
Release physical frustration from your body with quick movement or breathing
During kickball, someone tags you out even though you know you were safe. When you try to explain, they ignore you and keep playing.
Best Strategy: Physical Shake-Off
Script / Action: Take 2 deep belly breaths, shake out your hands, and remind yourself: "It's just recess kickball; it's not worth ruining my whole break over."
You raise your hand and give a wrong answer in class, and someone behind you mutters, "That was a dumb answer."
Best Strategy: Power Self-Talk
Script / Action: Remind yourself: "Mistakes are how brains grow. Their comment says more about them than me." Keep your head up.
A student looks at your lunchbox and makes a disgusted face, saying, "Ew, what is that smell?"
Best Strategy: Power Self-Talk
Script / Action: Think: "This is my food, I like it, and their taste buds aren't mine." Take a bite and ignore further comments.
What is "Pivot and Switch"?
Change your physical location, switch activities, or talk to a different friend.
You ask to use one of the recess jump ropes, and the student holding it says, "No, we need all of these," even though they're only using one.
Best Strategy: Pivot & Switch
Script / Action: Walk away to find another equipment option or game instead of standing there arguing for 5 minutes.
The teacher asks everyone to pick a partner. You look at your best friend, but they instantly turn around and pair up with someone else.
Best Strategy: Power Self-Talk
Script / Action: Tell yourself: "My friend can have other partners, and I get to make a new connection today." Smile and partner with someone nearby.
You walk over to sit next to your usual lunch group, but someone puts their backpack on the seat and says, "Saved for someone else."
Best Strategy: Pivot & Switch
Script / Action: Say "Okay, cool," turn around, and look for a table with open seats or friendly faces to sit with.
What is "The Bookmark Technique"?
Save the issue to talk about later with a trusted adult so that you can enjoy the present.
A classmate calls you a teasing nickname on the playground that you’ve asked them twice to stop using.
Best Strategy: The Bookmark Technique
Script / Action: Say firmly "Stop using that name," then "bookmark" the issue mentally ("If they do it again, I'll tell the teacher at line-up time, but right now I'm playing").
During art class, a classmate accidentally spills water on your finished drawing and just says, "Oops, my bad," without helping you clean it up.
Best Strategy: Physical Shake-Off
Script / Action: Exhale slowly to drop your shoulder tension. Tell yourself, "It was an accident. I can fix this or start fresh," and grab paper towels.
You hear three of your close classmates talking enthusiastically at lunch about a weekend sleepover party that you weren't invited to.
Best Strategy: The Bookmark Technique
Script / Action: Acknowledge it hurts ("It stings to be left out, but I'll focus on my own fun plans this weekend"), then switch your attention back to your lunch.