Corny
What can be broken but never held?
A promise
What is always coming but never comes?
Tomorrow
If you had only one match and entered a dark room containing an oil lamp, some kindling wood, and a newspaper, which would you light first?
The match
What is it that lives if it is fed and dies if you give it a drink?
Fire
If a plane crashes on the border between the United States and Canada, where do they bury the survivors?
Survivors are not buried.
What can one catch that is not thrown?
A cold
Uncle Bill’s farm had a terrible storm, and all but seven sheep were killed. How many sheep are still alive?
Seven (reread the question)
If Mrs. John’s bungalow is decorated completely in pink, including the walls, carpet, and furniture, what color are the stairs?
There are no stairs because bungalows do not have a second floor.
If you have a bowl with six apples and you take away four, how many do you have?
The four you took away.
If you spell “sit in the tub” s-o-a-k, and you spell “a funny story” j-o-k-e, how do you spell “the white of an egg”?
e-g-g w-h-i-t-e
What word would you use to describe a man who does not have all his fingers on one hand?
Normal (people usually have half their fingers on one hand)
What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is all the time?
A widow (i.e., a woman who has lost her spouse by death)
How could a man go outside in the pouring rain without protection and not get a hair on his head wet?
He is bald.
How did the boy kick his soccer ball ten feet, and then have it come back to him on its own?
He kicked it up.
What breaks and never falls, and what falls and never breaks?
Day breaks and night falls
If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?
A secret
What do you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush
What goes up and down, but always remains in the same place?
Stairs
If an electric train is moving north at 100 km/h and a wind is blowing to the west at 10 km/h, which way does the smoke blow?
Electric trains do not have smoke.
Is it legal for a man to marry his widow’s sister?
It is not illegal, but it is physically impossible (he's dead).
If it takes eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men?
No time, because the wall is already built.
What has a head and a tail but does not have a body?
Coin
Some months have 31 days, others have 30 days, but how many have 28 days?
All the months have 28 days.
"The attorney is my brother," testified the accountant. But the attorney testified he did not have a brother. Who is lying?
Neither one, because the accountant was his sister.
If you sit a cup on the table facing south while you are on the north side of the table, on which side is the cup’s handle?
No matter which way the cup is turned, the handle is always on the outside.