Umm, Actually...
In Exodus, the second book of the Bible, Pharaoh refuses Moses' request to set the Israelites free from their captivity in Egypt. As a result, the Lord inflicts Egypt with ten plagues consisting of turning water into blood, frogs, snakes, turning dust into gnats, swarms of flies, boils and sores, hail and fire, locusts, darkness, and eventually, the Passover. During the Passover, every firstborn son was killed in Egypt except those of the Israelites who protected themselves by painting the blood of a lamb on the two doorposts and the lintel of their house.
Um, actually, snakes were never one of the ten plagues.
Tall, dark, and handsome. Can easily protect you. Willing to face all your monsters.
Who is David?
Hey! I'm Sorry my dad sorta tricked you... but I'm looking forward to spending time with you and you know I'm the better choice for a wife anyway! ;)
Who was Leah?
You literally had one job, and you failed.
Who were Adam and Eve?
A denial of the doctrine of original sin, and it also entailed a denial of the supernatural order and of the necessity of divine grace for salvation.
What is Pelagianism?
Samson was a Judge of Israel in the era before the Kings. He was a mighty man, blessed with incredible strength as long as he didn't cut his hair. Some of his feats include slaying a lion with his bare hands, and wiping out a Philistine army with just a donkey's jawbone. He was finally taken down when his lover, Delilah, was bribed by the Philistines to seduce him and discover his weakness. After she cut his hair in his sleep, Samson lost his power and was captured.
Actually, Delilah called someone else in to cut Samson's hair
First ginger. Definition of a MAN! Loves beans.
Who was Esau?
Yo boys! Did you see the look on "his majesty's" face? lol He couldn't believe his eyes! BTW, what happened to that other guy?
What is the group chat of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego?
Man sleeps in mountain during natural disaster.
Who was Elijah?
The idea that salvation comes through knowledge. Usually some special kind of knowledge claimed by an elite.
What is Gnosticism?
In the story of Jonah, Jonah, son of Amittai, runs from the Lord's command for him to go to Nineveh and becomes trapped on a ship in the middle of a storm. After Jonah reveals that the storm is his fault, the angry sailors suggest throwing him overboard, and the sea becomes calm after they do so. Jonah, on the other hand, becomes stuck in the belly of a huge fish for 3 days and 3 nights.
Jonah is the one who suggests throwing himself overboard.
Who is Rahab?
I will find you... and I will remove you from the equation. Don't think that just because of you being close with my son, that I will have mercy. Threats will NOT be tolerated.
Who was Saul?
Ministry leader returns from sabbatical to find congregation has turned to cult.
Who was Moses?
The belief that there are three gods, rather than one God in three persons.
What is Tritheism?
Revelations, the last book of the Bible is a prophetic book, written by John. In Revelations, John writes to the seven churches commending and rebuking them for various actions. He also describes the breaking of the seven seals. When the seventh seal is broken, seven angels blow seven trumpets, each trumpet unleashing different disasters and woes. Later, the seven bowls of God's wrath are poured out on the Earth, and finally, Revelations ends with a description of the New Heaven and New Earth and the promise of Jesus' second coming.
Um, Actually, it's 'Revelation' not 'Revelations'.
Shall we run to the woods and spend some time in the elements? YES! No need to pack, I will find everything we need. Bathe in the river. I eat natural and raw.
Who is John the Baptist?
Who was Joseph?
Crowd cheers as man suffering from physical deformity defeated by teen.
Who was David and Goliath?
Rejected the divinity of Jesus and taught that Jesus was created by the Father and that the title "Son of God" was merely given to Jesus as a courtesy.
What is Arianism?
The Bible makes many references to animals throughout its 66 books. These include some common pets like dogs and cats or common zoo animals like lions and snakes. Some of the more unique examples include ostriches, scorpions, chameleons, and snails.
Cats are never mentioned in the bible.
Your cats aren't a problem, I have experience with many breeds. People say that I am a leader, kings respect me. Keeping a rhythm is key. Only down side is I have to have a certain room with a certain view.
Who is Daniel?
Ok, so let's get past the shock value of this communication. I was trying to help! But you just remained violent with me. I will return to my silence, but continue to carry your weight.
What is Balaam's donkey?
Surprise! Bears!
Who was Elisha?
A polytheistic heresy holding to various unorthodox doctrines, such as the notions that human beings preexisted in a spirit realm and were produced through the procreation of a god and goddess wife; allegedly human beings simply entered human bodies in the form of babies and as a result, lose the memories of our preexistence.
What is Mormonism?