Elderly
"My visions becoming all distorted, and I'm having a hard time recognizing faces. Maybe it's my dementia..."
I don't think this is your dementia, but rather macular degeneration. Typically, vision get distorted due to the rapid degeneration of cones. Unfortunately, we don't have a cure, but we can get you on medication.
"I'm incredibly stressed right now, and I'm gradually getting tunnel vision."
This likely isn't stress, but glaucoma since you're getting tunnel vision. This typically happens as nerve damage due to intraocular pressure reduces your peripheral vision. Because you're stressed, I'll put you on medication.
"I'm trying to practice driving more at night, but every light seems like it's 'expanding.' It's kind of discomforting if you ask me."
I think this is likely astigmatism. This is usually a result of fragmentation of light due to a mishappen cornea/lens. We'll get you cylindrical lenses on your glasses.
"My doctor did a seeing test and said I can't see close-up"
This looks like hyperopia. Your eyeball that is either too short or a cornea that is too flat, which means light focuses behind your retina. We should get you convex lenses to combat that.
"I've been around the bingo table for too many years to not know that that Brenda girl isn't giving me tunnel vision to mess me up"
While this might be Brenda, I think you're suffering from glaucoma. With that, there is intraocular pressure that causes damage to your optic nerve, which can result in what feels like tunnel vision. For now, we'll get you on some medication. But in the future, you may need to undergo surgery.
"Tell me why my coworkers said they don't see those eye floaters. Does that not happen with everyone?"
Oh this is definitely retinal detachment. It can cause floaters or even flickers of light at times. To fix it, you need surgery immediately.
"I was at a sleepover with my friends, when one of them started flashing a light at me. I knew they pretended to sleep after, but now I'm not so sure."
If this isn't a prank played by your friend, then this is definitely retinal detachment. This occurs when retina pulls away from its typical positioning, resulting in floaters or bursts of light. We need to schedule you surgery to realign it.
"All the lights are so far and hazy"
This is astigmatism, as it results on fragmentation of light due to a mishappen cornea/lens. Let's get you some cylindrical lenses to reverse that.
"I've been having a tough time seeing clearly lately; everything seems so fuzzy nowadays. Even my eyedrops stopped working!"
Considering you said nowadays, I'm assume this is something that was gradual. Since you're progressively having trouble with your vision, I suggest you're suffering from cataracts, and that you should undergo lens replacement surgery.
"This house paperwork is messing up my eyes! It's like my vision is getting all distorted."
I'm sure this is macular degeneration. Typically, it results in distorted central vision as the high concentration of cones reduces. Sadly, we don't have a cure, but we can offer injections that may slow the process.
"We did one of those dot test things in art class the other day, and the teacher said I should get my eyes checked"
You may be suffering from the genetic condition color blindness, where you may have trouble distinguishing between colors. While we don't have a cure for you yet, you can adapt by using color cues and labels.
"Do you see the bubbly things too?"
This is likely retinal detachment. This is a result of the retina pulling away from its natural position, and can result in eye floaters, or the bubbly things you're experiencing. We need to defer to medical intervention or surgery ASAP.
"My glasses slowly stopped working regardless of how many times I get new ones"
You mentioned that your glasses slowly stopped working every time, which means this isn't a prescription issue. I think this is likely presbyopia, because as glasses stop working, it feels like you can't focus on imagery. I will get you prescriptive lenses.
"I really needed this day off today. When I'm at my computer, there's so much pressure on my eyes, even with my corrective lenses."
This might look like nearsightedness, but this is definitely a sign of cataracts. With cataracts, the lens in your eye gets cloudy, which can result in pressure and or light sensitivity. You may need a lens replacement surgery.
"I hate sitting in the front of class, but I guess that's the only way to know what's actually going on."
This is definitely myopia since you feel the need to sit in the front of class to see what is happening on the board. This sort of thing tends to happen when the retina is too long, or the cornea is too curved. We will get you concave lenses so you can sit in the back.
"My mom keeps lying and saying there is a fire hydrant on the grass"
She may be right, and this might be color blindness, which is genetic. Sometimes, you may have a difficult time distinguishing between red and green, or even blue and yellow. We can get you to adapt using color cues and labels.