Using Opposite Action
What is Opposite Action?
OPPOSITE ACTION is a skill we use when we recognize our emotions are leading to urges to act ineffectively. We can change our emotions over time by choosing (often we have to dot his more than once) to act OPPOSITE of our emotional urge.
Urges we may have when we're sad or lonely
_______ (many answers: some possibilities include isolation, avoidance, self-harm) - "vegging," withdrawing, turning inward and becoming passive.
I'm super angry because someone is threatening me. My urge is to tell them off in front of everyone so they won't mess with me again.
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Name a time recently when you used Opposite Action effectively.
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Name the 6 mindfulness WHAT/HOW skills
WHAT = Observe, Describe, Participate
HOW = One Mindfully, Non-Judgmentally, Effective
What questions can I ask myself when I'm emotional to see if it's a good time to use Opposite Action?
Does my emotion or how intense it is fit the situation?
Am I having an urge to do something not helpful?
Urges we may have when we're angry
__________ - generally our anger urges involve the FIGHT in fight/flight/freeze. This could be aggressive language, yelling, passive aggression/sarcasm, slamming doors, cold shoulder - or turning the "attack" urge on ourselves (shame) using substances, self-harm, etc.
While I'm eating lunch, I see my significant other talking and laughing with a very attractive friend of mine across the room. I feel intensely jealous and want to question them and tell them to spend less time talking to that person.
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Name a time recently that you acted on an urge when opposite action would have been more effective.
___________
What is one cognitive distortion?
___________________________________
Another skill we use to examine our emotions and urges before we use opposite action.
Mindfulness
Urges we may have when we're anxious
_________ - anxious urges usually have to do with avoidance - not doing or going to the situation that we're worried about, trying to distract ourselves to not thing about it, worrying and overthinking.
When I try to explain to my mom that my depression is hard to manage right now, she's irritated and says some invalidating things. I want to cry in bed all day, turn on sad songs, and ruminate about my feelings in texts to my friends.
__________
What's an example of a time when using Opposite Action would NOT be effective?
When we feel FEAR (not anxiety) because of an actual threat to our safety, the APPROACH action is not a good idea!
Name one Distress Tolerance Skill
Self-Soothe, ACCEPTS, IMPROVE
True or False: Opposite Action, if we do it right, is an action we will only need to do once and then our emotions will forever be different.
FALSE. Often it takes more than one use of *any* skill before we can bring our emotion to a level that matches the situation. Be patient with yourself!
Urges we may have when we feel guilt
_______ - guilt urges usually prompt us to hide, avoid, or withdraw. We also might put the blame on someone else.
Because I've been busy with other important activities, I've spent less time with friends recently, and a friend confronts me to tell me she's upset because I didn't "make a big enough deal" out of her birthday. I feel guilty and ashamed, and have the urge to isolate and punish myself.
____________
It's important to use Opposite Action "all the way." What does this mean?
Our behaviors, words and thinking match; we complete the whole action and don't use cop-outs; we keep trying if it doesn't work the first time (or use a different skill)
What's something you can tell yourself to turn your mind toward Radical Acceptance?
Examples: I've gotten through this before, I can do it again. This is temporary. This too shall pass, etc.
What might make using Opposite Action hard?
Being in emotion mind, not knowing what to do, not being willing to do what needs to be done, how we're physically doing, being in emotion mind/not being mindful, etc.
Urges we may have with intense positive feelings? (think about being super excited, happy, having a crush...)
_______ - positive feelings can bring out impulsive urges ("I just got paid, time to buy ALL the shoes"). While love is a positive emotion, it can also create urges to discard healthy boundaries (changing our appearance to impress someone, rescuing behaviors, staying up all night texting someone to keep their attention)
I feel really anxious meeting new people but I care about close connections with others. It's a new school year and I'm feeling really nervous the first week of school. I want to avoid eye contact, stay quiet, sit at the back of the room, and pretend to be unbothered.
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Define an "ineffective" behavior or response.
_____________
What are the Three States of Mind?
Wise Mind, Emotion Mind, and Reasonable Mind