Using Opposite Action
What is Opposite Action?
OPPOSITE ACTION is a skill we use when we recognize our emotions are leading to unhelpful emotional behaviors. We can bring our intense emotions back to baseline by choosing (sometimes we have to choose more than once) to act OPPOSITE of our emotional urge.
Emotional behaviors we may do when we're sad or lonely
_______ (many answers: some possibilities include isolation, avoidance, self-harm) - "vegging," withdrawing, turning inward and becoming passive.
I'm super angry because someone is threatening me. My urge is to tell them off in front of everyone so they won't mess with me again.
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Name a time recently when you used Opposite Action effectively.
________________
What are the three parts of an emotion?
Thoughts, feelings (body clues), and behaviors/actions.
What is an Emotional Behavior?
The things you do when you feel strong emotions, like avoid, escape, or do things that get you in trouble or are unhelpful.
Emotional behaviors we may do when we're angry
__________ - generally our anger behaviors involve the FIGHT. This could be aggressive language, yelling, passive aggression/sarcasm, slamming doors, cold shoulder.
While I'm eating lunch, I see my significant other talking and laughing with a friend of mine across the room. I feel intensely jealous and want to question them and tell them to spend less time talking to that person.
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Name a time recently that you engage in an emotional behavior and opposite action would have been more effective.
___________
What is behavioral activation?
Behavioral Activation is a specific treatment for depression that is based on the idea that our mood and behaviors are tightly linked. Behavioral activation works by first changing our behaviors in order to change the emotions and thoughts later.
Name another skill we can use to examine and become aware of our emotions before we use Opposite Action.
Present moment awareness (PMA)
Emotional behaviors we may do when we're jealous
_________ - jealousy urges usually have to do with regaining control - making someone feel less important so WE don't feel less important, or removing someone else's choices so we feel they can't hurt us.
When I try to explain to my mom that my depression is hard to manage right now, she's irritated and says some invalidating things. I want to cry in bed, turn on sad songs, and ruminate about my feelings in texts to my friends.
__________
What's an example of a time when using Opposite Action would NOT be effective?
When we feel FEAR (not anxiety) because of an actual threat to our safety, the APPROACH action is not a good idea!
What are the 4 types of opposite action?
2. Learning something new
3. Doing things with people
4. Moving your body
True or False: Opposite Action, if we do it right, is an action we will only need to do once in a situation.
FALSE. Oftentimes it takes more than one use of *any* skill before we can bring our emotion to a level that matches the situation. Be patient with yourself!
Emotional behaviors we may do when we feel shame
_______ - shame urges usually prompt us to hide, avoid, or withdraw.
Because I've been busy with treatment, sports, and school, I've spent less time with friends recently, and a friend confronts me to tell me she's upset because I didn't "make a big enough deal" out of her birthday. I feel ashamed and like a disappointment, and have the urge to isolate and self-harm.
____________
It's important to use Opposite Action "all the way." What does this mean?
Our behaviors, words and thinking match; we complete the whole action and don't use cop-outs; we keep trying if it doesn't work the first time (or use a different skill)
What are safety behaviors?
Things we do to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.
When should we use Opposite Action?
1. When experiencing intense emotions.
2. To counteract emotional behaviors.
3. When emotions are misaligned with reality.
4. To Break the Cycle of Avoidance.
Emotional behaviors we may have with intense positive feelings? (think about being super excited, happy, having a crush...)
_______ - positive feelings can bring out impulsive behaviors ("I just got paid, time to buy ALL the shoes"). While love is a positive emotion, it can also create urges to discard healthy boundaries (changing our appearance to impress someone, rescuing behaviors, staying up all night texting someone to keep their attention)
At school, I meet a new friend who is also in treatment in a different program but struggling with similar issues to mine. This friend is awesome to spend time with and really seems to get me. She also brings me her problems frequently. Because I really care about her and want her as a friend, I have the urge to brainstorm lots of solutions for her and promise to come get her if she needs help, no matter what.
_____________
When is the next time you can use opposite action?
_____________
What is the cycle of avoidance?
The cycle of avoidance is a self-reinforcing pattern where avoiding anxiety-provoking situations provides temporary relief but ultimately increases fear and limits personal growth.