Excuses For Being Late
The most common morning excuse used when you blame a long line of slow-moving cars on the highway.
Traffic
The Italian culinary sin of breaking these long, stringy pasta noodles before boiling.
Spaghetti
A metal ring holding twenty keys, none of which unlock your current house.
Keychain
A depressed father goes on a massive ocean search with a woman who has no short-term memory.
Finding Nemo
Fruit that is hanging very low, representing tasks that require almost zero human effort.
"Low-hanging fruit"
The mysterious appliance that allegedly failed to make a sound at 6:00 AM.
Alarm Clock
The highly controversial yellow fruit that people dare to put on a savory pizza.
Pineapple
This wax-based cosmetic item always loses its lid and paints the bottom fabric pink.
Lipstick or Lip Balm
A family dynamic goes completely off the rails when a child uses a magic wooden board game to summon giant African mosquitoes.
Jumanji
The action of taking a conversation offline to discuss it at a later, unspecified date.
"Circle back"
Claiming you missed a turn because a digital navigation voice confidently guided you into a lake.
GPS error (Waze or Google Map)
Using this pungent herb to fight vampires, but accidentally adding 50 cloves to a soup.
Garlic
A tangled plastic nest of wiring that takes 10 minutes to unknot before you can listen to music.
Wired Headphones
A giant lizard visits Tokyo to aggressively address city zoning and architectural choices.
Godzilla
An annoying request to put your creative thoughts into a container that does not exist.
"Thinking outside the box"
The unique frustration of arriving on time but spending twenty minutes looking for a painted white rectangle to park in.
No parking spaces available
This carbon-based outcome happens when you forget toast in the toaster for an hour.
Charcoal
A heavy metal tube full of copper and zinc coins that makes your bag sound like a slot machine.
Loose Change or Coins
An unstable clown gets incredibly upset about societal funding cuts and causes massive disruptions on a live late-night talk show.
Joker
The act of making contact with someone, named after a sports maneuver involving a ball hitting the ground.
"Touch base"
Claiming you were delayed because a massive concrete barrier closed off your usual highway path for repairs.
Road construction
The kitchen disaster caused by putting aluminum foil inside this rapid-heating appliance.
Microwave
A tiny metal saved for an emergency wardrobe failure that has remained unused for four years.
Safety Pin
A historical romance where a wealthy woman allows her companion to freeze to death despite having plenty of space on a wooden panel.
Titanic
An invitation to jump into a deep body of liquid together to solve a difficult business problem.
"A deep dive"