Billions and Billions of Stars
Papi’s favorite astronomer; he’s famous for stammering on about “billions and billions of stars”
Carl Sagan
Papi’s former college best friend… and Mom’s former college boyfriend
As a child, Papi would often take this all alone to get where he needed to go; including Expos games
The Bus
This was conducted on Papi at the American/Canadian border one time; simply because he stood out for acting and being “odd”
A Strip Search
A fellow HHR lifer; Papi’s best friend at work; the only known lawyer to have a higher stack of papers in his messy office
Andy Braiterman
The only magazine Papi still subscribes to
Astronomy Weekly
This city is known for two things: good pizza, and being the first place Mom & Papi first lived together
New Haven
Papi drove cross country to move into this law school, before deciding he longer wanted to attend
Stanford
Paper was detained and questioned at this international airport, known for having one of the world’s best security forces; again, simply for standing out for acting “odd”
Ben Gurion Airport / Tel Aviv
One of Papi’s favorite clients, the failure and bankruptcy of this bank meant years of work… and fees for Papi
Lehman Brothers
It’s the smallest planet in the solar system; it’s also a reason you shouldn’t eat too much tuna
Mercury
The longest-term babysitter that worked alongside Mom at any point in raising the Luger children; she was 1 of 2 babysitters with this name
Rita
Papi’s decision to attend college out of town at Colgate, instead of commuting from home to McGill, was driven by Grandma Mim waking him up at 7am on a Sunday so she could do what
Make His Bed
Papi is banned from traveling to this state; as he had to plead guilty to a felony and risk jail time as a result of his interaction with a police offer in this state’s busiest airport
Georgia
Papi’s boss, and one of Chuck Schumer biggest benefactors, she got both Jessica and myself internships for esteemed Minority Leader
Candace Beinecke
A vast collection of stars, gas, dust, and dark matter held together by gravity
Galaxy (you dork)
The city where Mom & Papi moved for a summer legal internship; it was here Papi woke up to a roach-filled kitchen one night that almost gave him a heart attack
Washington D.C. / Maryland
Papi was caught stealing from this as a child from grandma Mim; the jingling in his pants gave it away
The Tzedukah Box
Papi had to double-tip secretly at this now-shuttered Luger-favored Italian kosher restaurant, after a Bumpy Sol hosted meal resulted in a less than acceptable tip
Va Bene
This big-pharma drug made billions for Merck, and millions for Papi, because it killed thousands of Americans...
Vioxx
A region in space with such strong gravity that nothing, not even light, can escape
Where Papi and Mom went for their honeymoon
Bermuda
Prone to theft, Papi stole this future baseball Hall of Famer’s bat by simply grabbing it from the dugout rack; of course, its whereabouts are currently unknown
Joe Torre
Papi was embarrassed another time at that same restaurant when this kind of restaurant worker overhead him imitating him, saying "you want freshy pepper?"
The Pepper Boy
Another HHR lifer, and friend of Papi’s at work (yes, he had more than one); the cool one of the bunch, apparently he was an “athlete” in college
Ken Lefkowitz