All-or-Nothing Thinking
What’s a word perfectionists often use that makes things sound extreme?
Words like always, never, totally, or ruined can make things feel worse than they are. CBT teaches us that most things in life aren’t all one way or the other, they’re in the middle.
True or False: Perfectionists are always more successful.
False. While they may work hard, perfectionists often get stuck, avoid challenges, or burn out. Success comes from being consistent, flexible, and willing to make mistakes.
Name one calming technique to help when you're feeling perfectionist pressure.
Humming, squeezing a stress ball, or grounding (like noticing 5 things you see, 4 you can touch, etc.) can help slow your brain down and make it easier to think clearly.
What does “letting go of control” mean?
It means accepting that not everything will go exactly your way and that’s okay. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you trust yourself to handle what comes.
Draw something badly on purpose. What was that like?
This dares you to mess up on purpose and notice your thoughts. CBT challenge: Can you let go of the need for it to look “right”?
Why is sleep important for your brain and what happens if you don't get enough sleep?
Sleep is your brain’s way of healing, organizing, and recharging, like a save point before a boss battle.
When you don’t sleep enough, your brain gets foggy, your mood gets spiky, and your anxiety gets loud
Try a no-screens-before-bed rule, breathing exercise, or listening to calming music. Establish a routine to tell your brain it’s time to shut down.
True or false: There are more fake flamingos in the world than real ones.
TRUE! Invented by Massachusetts' own Don Featherstone. Another fun fact: He and his wife dressed alike throughout their marriage.
Why is saying “good enough” sometimes better than saying “perfect”?
“Good enough” means you did your best with what you had. Aiming for “perfect” all the time can make you anxious, stressed, and afraid of failing. “Good enough” helps you move on and feel more free.
What’s a hidden cost of trying to be perfect all the time?
You might lose sleep, avoid trying new things, or feel anxious. It can also hurt your relationships when you expect too much from yourself or others.
What’s one helpful phrase to say when you’re being too hard on yourself?
“I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.” Self-talk like this helps you stay motivated instead of feeling defeated.
What’s one thing you don’t have to do perfectly today?
No wrong answer. Maybe schoolwork, a conversation, or even how your room looks. You don’t have to be perfect to be valuable.
Say out loud: “I don’t have to be perfect.” How did that feel?
Saying it out loud can feel weird but it’s powerful. Repeating it helps retrain your brain to accept effort over perfection.
What does your amygdala do when it senses danger?
The amygdala is like your danger detector, always scanning for threats. It can set off alarms, even when there’s no real danger.
In Japan, there’s a museum dedicated entirely to ___ that look like faces.
ROCKS!
How does black-and-white thinking affect how we feel?
It makes us feel like we either succeed or totally fail, no in-between.
That can lead to sadness, anxiety, or giving up if things aren’t perfect. CBT helps us find the “grey area,” where both effort and progress matter.
Why do perfectionists sometimes procrastinate?
Because they’re afraid of not doing something “perfectly,” so they put it off. CBT teaches us that action (even imperfect action) builds confidence and reduces fear.
What’s a “compassion break” and how can you take one?
A compassion break is when you pause and say something kind to yourself, like you would to a friend. For example: “It’s okay to feel frustrated. I’m trying and that matters.”
Share a time when something didn’t go as planned but it still turned out okay.
Clients may say things like “I forgot my lines in a play, but I kept going and people clapped.” This helps them see that imperfection doesn’t mean disaster.
Give yourself a compliment that isn’t about being “the best.”
Examples: “I tried hard.” “I kept going even when I was nervous.” “I was kind to someone today.”
Why do people sometimes avoid things that make them nervous?
Avoiding scary stuff gives short-term relief, but it tricks your brain into thinking the thing is actually dangerous. It strengthens fear.
In 2012, a woman tried to “fix” a painting of ___ in Spain.
A painting of Jesus. The result? A viral art disaster called Beast Jesus.
Rewrite this perfectionist thought in a more flexible way: “If I’m not the best, I’m a failure.”
A more balanced thought might be: “I don’t have to be the best to be good at something. I’m allowed to learn and grow.”
What’s the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism?
Healthy striving is about doing your best while knowing mistakes are okay. Perfectionism is about fearing failure and believing you’re only good enough if things go exactly right.
What’s one thing you can do when you catch yourself rechecking or redoing something too many times?
Set a time limit or give yourself one review only. Then practice letting it go even if it feels weird. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
What’s one area where you could lower the bar (in a healthy way)?
Maybe how clean your room is or how you answer every question in class. Lowering the bar doesn’t mean being lazy, it means being kind to yourself.
Make up a silly nickname and/or a silly voice for your inner perfectionist voice.
Ex: “Bossy Brenda,” “Captain Critic,” or “The Naginator.” Giving it a name and a silly voice helps you notice and talk back to that voice.
What’s a brain fact that proves your fear doesn’t always tell the truth?
Your brain can’t always tell the difference between real danger and remembered or imagined danger — it reacts the same.
There’s a museum in Sweden that only displays _____
Failed art projects. It’s called the Museum of Failure. Iconic.
Turn this harsh thought into a kinder one: “My project was terrible.”
Try: “It wasn’t perfect, but I worked hard and learned something. That still counts.” Being kinder helps your brain stay calm and motivated.
What’s a perfectionism trap?
A trap is when you keep redoing something because it doesn’t feel “perfect.” You spend too much time, get frustrated, and still don’t feel good enough. The trap keeps you stuck. CBT helps you spot and challenge these habits.
What’s a “Plan B” you could use if something doesn’t go perfectly?
Plan B could be: “If I mess up during my presentation, I’ll take a breath and keep going.” Having a backup plan helps you feel safer and less anxious.
Finish this mantra: “Done is better than ___.”
“Perfect.” Getting things done helps you grow. Waiting for “perfect” often means never finishing or enjoying what you’ve done.
What’s one thing you won’t try to fix or perfect today?
Could be: not fixing a messy ponytail, not editing a text 10 times, or leaving an art project just how it is. Celebrate that choice!
Why does your brain sometimes react like you’re in danger even if you’re not?
Sometimes, your brain uses old memories to guess what’s dangerous. This can set off alarms even when you’re actually safe, like false alerts in a security system.
A guy legally changed his name to this Toy Story character's name.
"Buzz Lightyear", He paints surreal space landscapes.