Who am I?
Socrates
A fan of this dualist theory might say "why does everybody hate the soul"?
Substance dualism
The word "philosophy" comes from these two Greek words.
Philos and sophia
"Episteme" is the Greek word for this.
Knowledge
They come in tubes and a range of flavours, including sour cream and onion.
Pringles
"This whole Protestant thing is really stressing me out. Time to tip out all my apples and carefully consider everything I know. Better keep a look out for that evil demon too."
Rene Descartes
The thought experiment "Mary's Room" was devised by this Australian philosopher.
Frank Jackson
This is the singular form of qualia
Quale
Plato used the allegory of this to explore philosophical enlightenment.
The cave
Not just the 16th president of the United States, but a banned word (or six) in this classroom (and also a vampire hunter).
"My birth name is Aristocles, but you might know me better by this nickname, meaning 'broad', given to me in my wrestling days."
Plato
This monist theory essentially boils down to "man wants beer, man goes to the fridge and gets beer."
Biological naturalism
In an early draft of Plato's Gorgias, the character of Gorgias taunts this great philosopher by saying that he had to sneak into the local barbershop and steal bits of hair that had fallen on the floor and glue them to his face.
Socrates
This ancient philosopher thought that experience and using the senses was essential to knowledge.
Aristotle
Probably the only banned word that makes any sense, he's the 45th and 47th president of the United States.
Donald Trump
"If you don't accept that illusionism is the default theory of consciousness, then you're just gullible folk building card castle theories."
Daniel Dennett
This monist theory argues that everything has consciousness.
Panpsychism
Chidi in the Good Place is a big fan of this man's bundle theory of the self.
David Hume
One of the main sticking points between the continental rationalists and the British empiricists was this type of knowledge, that we are born already knowing about certain things, like God (or perfect circles)
Innate knowledge
The name for these invertebrates can follow "book" and "ear".
Worms
"Lord Shaftesbury seems to have got himself into a little bit of trouble with the law. Time for a tabula rasa and for me to find a new rich lord to fund my philosophising."
John Locke
This Australian philosopher originated the phrase (and the concept) "the hard problem of consciousness".
David Chalmers
This man, the creator of the panopticon and a big fan of David Hume, wanted his body to be preserved after death so that he could be wheeled out at parties if his friends missed him.
Jeremy Bentham
George Berkeley was a big fan of the idea of "esse est percepi", meaning "to be is to..."
Perceive
The largest species of this is called Armillaria Ostoya, also the largest living organism on earth.
Fungi