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Parentification
Parentification 2
Neglect
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What is Parentification?

Parents/Caregiver look to their children for emotional and/or practical support, rather than providing it. Hence, the child becomes the caregiver. As a result, parentified children are forced to assume adult responsibilities and behaviors before they are ready to do so. In addition, they do not receive acknowledgment or support for taking on these responsibilities.

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How common is parentification?

It is estimated that it happens in about 13% of child-parent relationships
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What is neglect?

Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse2. A child might be left hungry or dirty, or without proper clothing, shelter, supervision or health care. This can put children and young people in danger. And it can also have long term effects on their physical and mental wellbeing.

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Reasons child/youth are placed in parenting/caregiver roles

  • Has an alcohol or substance use disorder
  • Is disabled or has a serious medical condition
  • Does not have sufficient emotional support from other adults
  • Experienced neglect or abuse as a child
  • Suffers from a mental illness.
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Effects of Parentification 

1. Identity Development 

Parentified individuals may find it hard to view themselves as their own person, since they have been used to always putting their own needs aside. Their identity actually depends on their ability to suppress their needs. 

2. Self-expression and Self-care 

Since parentified children learn from an early age that they are not allowed to have their own needs or wishes, this is adulthood translates into an individual who has difficulty employing self-care, asserting their own wishes and boundaries, and expressing their True Self. 

3.Emotional Regulation  

Chronic stress such as the stress endured by a parentified child under adverse circumstances can be toxic in the absence of a dependable and reliable adult. The child may appear highly capable to tend for themselves and others, very mature for their age, resilient and even wise beyond years- but they lack the safe haven of a secure attachment figure that is vital for the development of emotional regulation.

Children may struggle to regulate and cope with their own negative emotions, and may develop a high emotional reactivity and sensitivity that makes them susceptible to emotional outbursts.

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Types of Neglect

  • Physical neglect
    A child's basic needs, such as food, clothing or shelter, are not met or they aren't properly supervised or kept safe.
  • Educational neglect
    A parent doesn't ensure their child is given an education.
  • Emotional neglect
    A child doesn't get the nurture and stimulation they need. This could be through ignoring, humiliating, intimidating or isolating them.
  • Medical neglect
    A child isn't given proper health care. This includes dental care and refusing or ignoring medical recommendations.
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Two types of Parentification

Instrumental parentification

Emotional parentification 


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What does parentification do to a child/youths attachment?

1. Trauma Bonding 

2. Insecure attachment

3. Disorganized attachment style  

4.Push and Pull relationships

5. Avoidant Attachment 

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What is psychological abuse?

When an adult repeatedly conveys to a child that he is worthless, defective, unloved, or unwanted…it may involve threatened or actual abandonment.

Often co-occurs with other types of abuse

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How might a child/youth feel when they are placed in a parent/caregiver role?

  • Anxiety, particularly regarding caring for others
  • Depression
  • Suicidal thoughts
  • Compulsively overworking in order to fulfill responsibilities at school and at home
  • Feelings of guilt and shame
  • Unrelenting worry
  • Social isolation
  • Physical symptoms of anxiety and depression, such as stomachaches, headaches, etc.
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How does parentification effect other traumas?

Delay in Trauma Awareness

Parentified children may delay to become aware of the trauma they endured, since it was difficult to look inwards and become conscious of their own needs. After all, children are inclined to be loyal and trusting of their parents, even when this hurts. This may make it hard to develop insights about their situation and the effects this had on them. 

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How common is neglect?

60% of child abuse cases reported each year have a component of neglect 

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Long term effects;

  • inability to trust others
  • Involvement in violent or otherwise unhealthy relationships
  • Inappropriate sense of entitlement or authority
  • Difficulty functioning independently
  • Higher chance of chronic physical illness
  • Greater risk of anxiety, depression, substance use disorders, and eating disorders
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How does a child/youth move on after an experience of being in a caregiver role?

1. Start prioritizing your needs 

2. Talking about the impact 

3. Rebuilding a relationship with your inner child


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Effects of Neglect

Both short term and possible long term effects;

  • problems with brain development
  • taking risks, like running away from home, using drugs and alcohol or breaking the law
  • getting into dangerous relationships
  • difficulty with relationships later in life, including with their own children
  • a higher chance of having mental health problems, including depression.
  • most commonly associated with internalizing disorders