Coping
Taking a time out, taking a walk, phoning a supportive person
What is healthy coping
Awareness
Acceptance
Active Coping
What is healthy coping.
The Foundation of the Sound Relationship House
What are: Love maps (getting to know each other)
Kick, "move", punch, slap
What is physical abuse?
Using "I" statements to communicate wants/needs respectfully
What is Assertion
During an argument you leave for an unknown amount of time, you cope in an unhealthy way... ETC
VS.
During an argument you tell your partner your leaving, they know how long you will be gone for, you are aware of your feelings ETC
What is walking away vs. taking a time out
Watch it (do nothing)
Douse it (make it smaller)
What is Active Coping
This is the "golden ratio"
What is 5 compliments to 1 criticism
Withholding money, credit cards, give an 'allowance"
What is financial abuse?
What is Yield To Win?
I am calm and alert, I can handle whatever comes my way, I can regulate my emotions.
What is the window of tolerance?
Reaction to a threat of danger to oneself or loved one (real or perceived)
What is fear?
Stonewalling
Contempt
Criticism
Defensiveness
What are the "Four Horeseman of the Apocalypse"?
The violence is goal directed, used to change or control a situation.
What is instrumental violence?
summarizing, ask questions, being curious ("it's not about the nail")
What is active listening / paraphrasing
I take time to notice my thoughts, body sensations and scale my feelings before responding to an event or situation
What is building awareness / exploring our emotional selves.
Loss of someone or something important to you
What is sadness?
Antidotes to the Four Horseman
What are: gentle(soft) start ups, accepting responsibility, respect and appreciation, comforting yourself
Putting your partner down, name calling, gaslighting ETC.
What is emotional abuse?
Selective listening, ambushing, insensitive listener, stage hogging, defensive listener, pseudo listener.....ETC
What are Negative Listening Types
I hold space for all my feelings. Feelings are not good or bad. I do not judge my feelings
What is acceptance?
"I am bad" Vs. "I Did Something bad"
What is shame vs Guilt
Create shared meaning and goals
What is the roof of the "Sound Relationship House"?
Acting like the "master/mistress" of the house, being the one to define roles in the relationship
What is gender privilege?
Admit
Apologize
Action
what is taking responsibility?