Parenting Styles
T or F: All parenting styles will be the same
NO! Explore what are your parenting styles?
What are Transitions and Changes?
- How do those transitions and changes affect the family unit?
Moving into a new home or the idea of a new family can be unsettling, leading to insecurity and tension.
*Explore transitions and changes that you have felt and what did you notice about them.
What does Empathy and Calmness look like in an argument or disagreement?
Understand the childs underlying need for control and respond with empathy, rather than engaging emotionally
What helps build trust, not control
Patience allows a step-parent & family unit to build a foundation of trust first, which is a key step before taking on more authoritative role.
- Bonus points: What do you think is an authoritative role?
T or F: Forcing a bond would not work for a family.
- What is being empathetic?
True!
Its more realistic to expect respect and courtesy than immediate connection. Allow relationships to develop naturally over time.
Understanding that children may be going through different emotional adjustment and may act out due to loyalty conflicts or feelings of loss.
What are loyalty conflicts?
Children feel torn between their biological parents and step-parents, leading to guilty feelings of betrayal if they bond with their new step-parent.
What is Emotional Turmoil?
Children may experience anger, sadness, or anxiety as they adjust to a new stepparent, step siblings, and potentially new homes and schools.
What age can be hardest for blended families?
Ages 6-12
Why do you think patience is important within family units?
Patience allows for slow and natural development of relationships, fosters trust, and provides a stable foundation for the entire family.
Building a blended family is a process and it takes time for everyone to adapt to the family dynamics. Shifts in dynamics can cause big feelings to arise.
T or F: Creating shared experiences has a positive affect on memories.
- What is focus on building relationships.
True! Low-pressure activities have a positive experience.
Planning low-pressure activities and outings to discover shared interests and create positive memories.
Step-parents should prioritize building a positive relationship with step-children rather than solely focusing on discipline.
Parenting Styles are___
Different approaches to discipline, rules, and values. Leading to confusion and conflict.
What is Loss & Loyalty?
*Remember a time when you may have felt this way
- You can write this on a piece of paper and then throw it away.
T or F: Offering Limited Choices may help with childrens sense of control
- Brainstorm what are acceptable limits for your family?
What is provides stability with power struggles?
i.e., how can we provide stability during power struggles?
Children in blended families have already experienced major life changes and power struggles can make them feel insecure or torn between households.
Patiently working through disagreements models healthy conflict resolution & creates a stable, consistent environment that helps children feel secure.
What are clear boundaries?
Define clear roles, rules, and consequences for children and each family to create consistency and predictability.
Step-parents may feel unsure of their role, in particularly with discipline. While biological parents might feel their authority is challenged.
What is Parental Dynamics?
How can Parental Dynamics change the family's structure?
A lack of unity between parents or animosity between them can create a negative environment that affects or trickles down to the children.
True or False: Children's desire for control is a bad thing.
Children's desire for control is a natural development; Children will often naturally seek more control over their lives and push past boundaries to assert their independence.
How do we as a family create a safe space for expression?
Power struggles are often fueled by underlying fears & anxieties that children and adults may not know how to express.
Being patient creates a safe, judgment-free space for everyone to voice their feelings and concerns.
What is establishing a United Front?
Parents should discuss parenting styles and values privately, then present a united approach to children to avoid confusion and inconsistency.
Unmet Expectations are __
What are some of your expectations for this family?
Parents may enter with unspoken assumptions about parenting, roles, and the families overall dynamic, leading to disappointment.
- Calmly discuss family and individual expectations.
What is the step-parents role in blended families?
What are your roles in this family?
The step-parent needs to be empowered to act as parent and intervene when needed, but as much as possible allow the biological parent to take the lead with discipline.
Explore the different roles within your family. How does each person positively contribute to the family?
What is Focus on Connection?
Create a safe atmosphere of trust, by avoiding blame, shame, or pain.
How does/would focusing on connection look like for your family?
What kinds of things does a patient approach protect children from?
Loyalty Binds!
A child may feel that bonding with a new step-parent is a betrayal of their biological parent.
Patience involves explicitly giving children permission to love all of their parents and family members, validating their complex emotions without forcing them to choose sides.
What is Practicing Open Communication?
Schedule regular check-ins to discuss roles, rules, and expectations openly and honestly to avoid resentment.
- May consider to choose some rules and expectations together as a family