Show:
Reflection of Feeling
Paraphrasing
Confrontation
Immediacy
Self-Involving Statement
100
'I'm so upset. My boyfriend just broke up with me and he is now dating my best friend.'
'It sounds like you feel sad because your boyfriend and best friend have betrayed you. Is that correct?'
100
'I'm feeling really depressed lately. I can't get out of bed and all I do is cry.'
'It sounds like you are going through a difficult time. Is that correct?'
100
'Drinking is ruining my life. I'm so dependent on alcohol and can't seem to socialize without it. But I'm scared I'm going to become an alcoholic.'
'So on one hand I hear you saying that you are dependent on alcohol in regards to socializing, however, on the other hand you are saying that drinking is ruining your life. Let's process this discrepancy in more depth.'
100
Client: 'I know I'm an adult now, but the things I went through in my childhood were just so awful. I'd rather talk about something else; like my awesome job now.'
'I notice that you change the subject whenever I bring up your childhood. It's making me feel uncomfortable to discuss this even though it was one of the topics you wanted to discuss. Share your thoughts with me about what I just said...'
100
Client: 'I feel like a failure. No matter what I do or how hard I try, I can't seem to earn higher than an 80 on any of my statistics tests. I'll never be accepted to MIT with a 3.5 GPA.'
Counselor: I notice that as you share this you appear frustrated. I'm hesitant to bring up your GPA due to your reaction even though it is one of the major issues you want to address. Tell me your reaction to what I just said...'
200
'My mom relapsed last night for the 10th time. She can't stop drinking. I don't know what else to do to help her. I give up.'
'It sounds as though you are feeling hopeless and defeated because your mom is using alcohol again. Is that correct?'
200
'I hate my job. My boss keeps badgering me and I am so angry.'
'It sounds like you're having problems at work. Is that correct?'
200
'I can't stop smoking. My dad was just diagnosed with Lung Cancer, so I want to stop so I can be healthy, but I've been smoking for so long. It's so hard.'
'On one hand you are saying that you are struggling to quit smoking since you have been smoking for so long, but on the other hand you are saying that you want to be healthy. Let's process what you are saying in more depth.'
200
'You aren't listening to me. That's not what I meant and that's not what I said. No one understands me.'
'I've noticed that you have been defensive lately and I feel badly because no matter how I respond you feel misunderstood. Let's process this more.'
200
'No matter what I do, my boss always find fault in my work. I stay later than everyone, get my assignments in on time, and barely sleep because I'm always working. It's very defeating.'
'I've observe that whenever you talk about your work you appear defeated. I feel badly that you are struggling, but am hesitant to bring up your job due to your reaction, even though you indicated it is one of your main stressors. Tell me your reaction to what I just said...'
300
'I'm so angry at my dad. He is always at work and never spends any time with me. He doesn't even know who I am anymore'
'It sounds like you are upset and disappointed because your dad isn't playing more of an active role in your life. Is that correct?'
300
'My sister is really annoying. She keeps going into my room and using my computer.'
'It sounds like your sister's behavior is bothering you. Is that correct?'
300
'It's now summer and I want to lose weight, but I really love ice cream. I eat it after every meal. I want to be able to wear a bathing suit, but I can't seem to control myself.'
'So it sounds like on one hand you would like to eat healthier and be in shape, however, on the other hand you are saying that you are having difficulty controlling the amount of ice cream you eat. Let's talk about this.'
300
Client: 'You and my parents both say the same thing. I can't take it!!!! You all just tell me to move on with my life because that's what she would want for me. I can't...I just can't.' I miss her so much it is painful.'
Counselor: 'I see how much you are struggling with her loss and I'm hurt that you feel that I am not being supportive of your feelings. Share with me what else I can do to help you through this process.'
300
Client: 'I don't know what to do after I graduate. My degree is in Communications, so i feel lost and lack a direction. I want to work with people, but don't know what type of job to pursue. I feel really frustrated.'
Counselor: 'I notice that you appear aggravated as you share this. I'm cautious to bring up your future career path because I see your reaction to this even though it's one of the main issues you want to discuss. Tell me your reaction to this....'
400
'I just found out I was pregnant. My parents are going to be so humiliated and I'm too frightened to tell them and my boyfriend.'
'It sounds like you are feeling scared because you are unsure of your parents and boyfriend's reaction to your pregnancy. Is that correct?'
400
'My parents are so strict and controlling. It is so unfair because none of my other friends have a curfew. I feel like I'm suffocating.'
'It sounds like you wish your parents weren't so rigid. Is that correct?'
400
'I'm failing Math. I want to be able to pass so I can graduate, but I just don't spend enough time studying and I don't understand the material.'
'On one hand you are saying that you would like to pass math in order to graduate, but on the other hand out stated that you don't spend enough time studying and are struggling with the material. Let's talk about this in greater depth.'
400
Client: 'I don't want to move to Florida. I don't have any friends there and I don't want to leave my school and friends here. My parents are so selfish.'
'I notice that when you talk about moving you clench your fists. I am feeling uncomfortable bringing this topic up, even though you indicated that you are struggling with this move. Share with me your thoughts about what I said...'
400
Client: 'I had a really tough week at school. Our team lost the football game, I broke up with my girlfriend, and I got a C on my English Lit paper. The only good thing is that one of my best friends of 15 years is visiting from NY this weekend.'
'I notice that as you share this you appear disgruntled. I'm hesitant to bring up the grade on your English Literature paper because of your reaction even though your grades are one of the major issues you wanted to discuss. Tell me your reaction to this..'
500
'I am failing Science. I initially wanted to be an engineer, but I am really struggling with this class. No matter how much time I spend on the assignments and studying, I still don't understand the material.'
'It sounds like you are feeling defeated and frustrated because you are putting so much effort into the class and are still struggling to excel. Is that correct?'
500
'My relationship with my boyfriend is getting really stale. We never spend time together and we are just growing apart.'
'It sounds like you are struggling with your relationship right now. Is that correct?'
500
'I don't want to be single anymore, but I hate dating. I don't like the bar scene and my friends set me up with people I am not compatible with. I'm just so frustrated.'
'So on one hand you are saying that you don't want to be single, but on the other hand you are saying that you don't like to date and are feeling aggravated because you are single. Let's process this in more detail.'
500
'I don't know if I should stay with him..he says he loves me, but then he hits me. He keeps saying it will never happen again, but it keeps happening...'
'I notice that you get visibly upset when you talk about this. It makes me feel sad that you are in such a tumultuous situation. Tell me your reaction to what I just said...'
500
Client: 'I'm thinking about leaving my wife. I've been sad lately. We have been together for 10 years, but I'm just not happy anymore. We tried counseling, but it hasn't helped. She always goes out with her friends and we have just grown apart. I've invested so much in this relationship, but I am done.'
'I notice that as you share this you appear defeated. I'm cautious to bring up the issue of your relationship due to your reaction, even though it's one of the main issues you wanted to discuss. Tell me your reaction to what I just said...'