O' Ionia!
Thales thought everything was made of this substance, but be careful to bring up wells of it since this is a sensitive topic for him
What is water?
Parmenides is credited with founding this branch of philosophy because he thought that everything was made of "Being".
What is Metaphysics?
Ionia is located in this modern day country. And no, they will not be providing the main dish for thanksgiving this year.
What is Turkey?
As the kids would say, his theory of the One is "Fire".
Who is Heraclitus?
This modern day country is nicknamed "The Boot" due to its shape on a map. It is directly left of mainland Greece and is where some Pre-Socratics called home.
What is Italy?
Anaximenes thought that this substance was the "arche" of it all, and that "the many" was simply more condensed and expanded states of it. Therefore, everything is different because "the many" exists in different densities.
What is air?
The study of the universe, the root of which Pythagoras invented himself and means "world harmony" or "world order".
What is Cosmology?
This school was home to the first Pre-Socratics: Thales, Anaximander, and Anaximenes. The first name of this "Party in the U.S.A" singer could be helpful to think about when trying to pronounce it.
What is the Milesian school?
He could go on forever about his answer to the one and the many, perhaps even to "infinity and beyond"
Who is Anaximander?
What is Elea?
The discovery of these different kinds of numbers got Hippasus killed by Pythagoras because he saw them as a threat to his views on cosmic order.
What are irrational numbers?
Pythagoras not only asked the question of "what there is" but also "what should be done", making him the first to do this branch of philosophy.
What is Ethics.
Pythagoras may be known as "Pythagoras of Samos," but he eventually ditched his home island and set up a school in this ancient city.
What is Croton?
Xenophanes thought that everything was made of this substance. The details may have been lost to history, it probably had something to do with water (but not wind or fire).
What is Earth?
If Italy was a foot, this school of Philosophy would be located just above the "instep", also known as the top of the foot.
What is the Eleatic School.
Since this philosopher believed that "all is One", he likely can't even make sense of this being a category, let alone make sense of motion, change, or difference.
Who is Parmenides?
This branch of philosophy is behind the "nightmare" that Cratylus had when he realized that words, just like everything else, are always changing. Unlike Heraclitus, he didn't believe in any sort of logos behind these changes so he stopped talking altogether, for how can he know what he says still means what he thinks it means?
What is Epistemology?
This paradox of Zeno supposedly proves that motion is absurd when you consider the infinite amount of halfway points between Achilles and this notoriously slower reptile.
What is Zeno's Paradox of Achilles and the Tortoise?
Even pagans such as Xenophanes were able to discover important truths about God through human reason alone (i.e., that God must be all-knowing, all-powerful, all-good, timeless, immutable, etc..), making him the first to do this subbranch of Theology.
What is Natural Theology?