Understanding Boundaries
In your own words, what is a personal boundary?
A limit that protects your comfort, safety, or feelings
Someone pressures you to sit with them every day even when you want space. What kind of boundary is this?
Emotional / social boundary
Conflict usually happens because of a ____ or disagreement.
Misunderstanding
Which style gives in to avoid conflict?
Doormat
What is the first step before solving a problem?
Understanding what happened, who was involved, and how it made you feel.
Why might someone’s boundary look different from yours?
People have different experiences, needs, and comfort levels
A friend says, “If you cared about me, you would…” What might be happening here?
Guilt-tripping or boundary pressure
Why is bullying more harmful than conflict?
It’s repeated and involves a power imbalance
Which style gets revenge indirectly?
Doormat with spikes
Why do feelings matter even if “no one meant harm”?
Impact matters more than intention because you do not get to choose how the other person will be affected.
A friend keeps interrupting you when you talk. Complete the boundary statement:
“If you keep interrupting me, I will ___.”
Stop sharing / take a break / ask to finish
A friend keeps posting TikToks that include you without asking, or tags you in videos you don’t like. Create a respectful boundary using “If you do ___, I will ___.”
“If you post videos of me without asking, I will ask you to take them down.”
“If you keep tagging me without permission, I will remove the tag and block you.”
Your friend keeps talking badly about others and expects you to join in. Create a boundary using “If you keep ___, I will ___.”
“If you keep talking about others, I will leave the chat/ go hang out with someone else.”
You usually stay quiet to avoid drama, but later feel upset. How could an “If you do ___, I will ___” statement help you move toward pillar communication?
It clearly states limits without attacking the other person
You’ve already set a boundary once, but nothing changed. Why is it appropriate to use an “If you do ___, I will ___” statement now?
It shows follow-through and self-respect.
Your friend gets quiet when you joke about them in front of others, but they never say anything. How might a boundary be crossed even if no words were used?
Non-verbal cues can show discomfort; boundaries don’t need to be spoken to be real
You’re added to a group chat where people start talking about a friend who isn’t there.
What are two boundary-respecting choices you could make?
Leave the chat, change the topic, or speak up.
Two friends argue once over a misunderstood comment and both feel bad after. Why is this conflict and not bullying?
It’s mutual, not repeated, and there’s no power imbalance
You avoid saying anything when friends hurt your feelings, but later you feel resentful.
Which communication style might this be, and why?
Doormat
You want to fix a problem, but you’re still angry. Why is it important to pause before taking action?
Acting while emotional can escalate the situation.
Your friend says, “I’m fine” but pulls away and stops sharing. What is a respectful way to respond that honours their boundary without pushing them into sharing?
Giving space while checking in gently later
A close friend expects you to tell them everything and gets upset when you don’t.
How would you set a boundary while still showing you care?
“I care about you, but I need some things to stay private.”
A friend repeatedly embarrasses you and says, “You’re too sensitive.” Why does this move from conflict to bullying?
Repetition and dismissing feelings.
You calmly tell a friend you don’t like a joke, and they actually listen. Why is this an example of pillar communication?
Clear, respectful, confident.
You tell a friend how you feel, what you need, and they ignore it. What is a respectful next step that still protects you?
Creating distance or seeking support