Kid-ding Around
"I'm hungry..."
"Hi hungry, I'm dad."
"What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?"
"Bison."
"I tried to catch some fog, but I..."
"...mist."
"Why don't eggs tell jokes?"
"They'd crack each other up."
"What does a cat say when it gets hurt?"
"Me-ow."
"I'll call you later..."
"Don't call me 'later', call me Dad."
"How do you count cows?"
"With a cow-culator."
"Did you hear about the break-ins in the parking garage? It was..."
"...wrong on so many levels."
"What do you call a fake noodle?"
"An impasta."
"What do you call a clown who is in jail?"
"A silicon."
"Did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut."
"What do you call a cow that just gave birth?"
"De-calf-inated."
"I might quit my job at the concrete plant. It just seems to get..."
"...harder and harder."
"What do you call cheese that isn't yours?"
"Nacho cheese."
"How does a tree feel when spring comes around?"
"Re-leaved"
"I think I have something in my shoe..."
"It's probably your foot!"
"What do you call an alligator in a vest?"
"An investigator."
"The concert violinist believed in exercise. He was..."
"Fit as a fiddle."
"Where does the broccoli go to have a few drinks?"
"The salad bar."
"What do you call two monkeys who share one Amazon account?"
"Prime-mates"
"I'm cold."
"Go stand in the corner, I hear it's 90 degrees."
"What do you call a dog magician?"
"A labracadabrador."
"I don't think my tennis partner likes my serves. He keeps..."
"...returning them to me."
"What does a nosy pepper do?"
"It gets jalapeno business."
"Why should you never let your daughter date a tennis player?"
"Because love means nothing to them."