Queen Baby Characteristics
Queen Baby may have difficulty with this, especially if we see them as authority figures or having more power than we do.
What is taking direction?
Situation: We identify with our masculine side and deny our feminine side in relationships.
Strategy: We take on this role to be accepted by men or to compete for attention of women to whom we are sexually attracted.
Problem: We are looking for love and acceptance and are under the mistaken belief that all of our needs for intimacy and relationships can be met through our primary relationships.
Solution: We may be more fulfilled with a balance of relationships in recovery with both men and women.
What is Tomboy?
Queen Baby may do for others with a ______ _______ that we will be getting what we want or need from them at a later time.
What is hidden expectation?
Situation: We act as though we need someone to take care of us and do not have the ability to care for ourselves.
Strategy: We rely on others to make difficult decisions, keeping us from having to take responsibility when things do not work as planned.
Problem: We fear if we assert ourselves, we will be less attractive and resent our significant other and others who take control of our lives when we end up on a path that is not necessarily where we would choose.
Solution: Assume our own power. We need to learn to work together as equals in the decision-making process.
What is The Little Girl?
Queen Baby may look outward with an exaggerated fear of rejection and abandonment.
What is basing our value on how others see us?
Situation: We do it all for "the good of others" with little regard for ourselves.
Strategy: We take care of the needs of others to demonstrate that we are selfless. Although it looks like our motive is to please others, it's to feel better about us.
Problem: Living in this role keeps us stuck in anger, resentment, and self-pity. We say we don't care, but we do.
Solution: The balance of give and take is what will sustain our recovery and spiritual fitness.
What is People Pleaser?
Queen Baby may see themselves as this without taking responsibility for choices made.
What is "Victim of circumstances and experiences"?
Situation: We are available for others and have the answers
Strategy: We present ourselves as though we have minimal struggles in our lives. While we are genuinely helpful, we do not validate our needs or vulnerabilities.
Problem: We make ourselves available to many without taking time for ourselves.
Solution: We can learn to meet our needs through reciprocal relationships with others. We do not have to stop being supportive and helpful, but we will also ask for this in return.
What is the Therapist/Counselor?
Queen Baby may look to these in life and become easily bored, feeling a strong need to be entertained or in a situation we can control or manage.
What is excitement and chaos.
Situation: What we are is defined by someone else. We want others to tell us how to look and act.
Strategy: We become something for others to dress up and show off and begin to believe our most valuable asset is how we look.
Problem: We lose ourselves and become discarded like material possessions.
Solution: Celebrate both internal and external beauty. We have freedom to be ourselves and express ourselves accordingly.
What is The Barbie Doll?