corny jokes
what type of tree fits in your hand?
a palm tree
what do you call a man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
a seasoned veteran
what has to be broken before you use it?
an egg
what do you call a pretty good factory?
why can't eggs take penalty kicks?
they will crack under pressure
why don't eggs tell jokes?
they make each other crack up
why did the man get fired from the keyboard factory?
he didn't pick up enough shifts
i am played, cracked, told and made, what am i?
a joke
what do you call an elephant that doesnt matter?
an irr-elephant
what did the plate say to the other plate?
breakfast is on me
why did the tomato blush?
it saw the salad dressing
why did the student eat his homework?
because his teacher said it was a piece of cake
i am told when i am young and short when i am old, what am i?
a candle.
how does a penguin build it's house?
igloos it together
why did the coffee get cancelled?
it was too unfiltered
why dont skeletons fight eachother?
they dont have the guts
what do you call a fish without eyes?
a blind fish
what can travel around the world but still stay in a corner?
a stamp
why did the computer get cold?
it left it's windows open
what's the best way to watch a fishing tournament?
livestream it
why dont scientists trust atoms?
because they make up everything
how do you organize a space party?
you planet
i fly without wings, i cry without eyes, whereever i go darkness follows me, what am i?
a cloud
why did the man run around his bed?
because he was trying to catch up on sleep
what's a ghost's least favorite room in the house?
the living room