SUBTYPES OF DENIAL
"I don't have a problem - you have a problem."
What is Projection
Expressed indirectly through sarcasm, or being late, or avoiding a situation.
What is Passive Anger
What is The Addict
They blame themselves for their family's shortcomings. They blame themselves for everything. They pick on themselves constantly.
What is Low Self Worth
Focus is on avoiding substance usage.Tasks are specific and concrete—changes in behavior are readily observed. Results are seen relatively quickly—less crises in life. Change in daily routine occupies most of one’s attention
What is Abstinence (0-6 months)
"Sure I drink a few beers each day, but it's not a problem."
What is Minimizing
Critical statements are made which belittle, shame, or correct others; done with disdain.
What is Judgmental Anger
This person will often make inappropriate jokes that is often harmful humor
What is The Mascot
Codependents worry. They worry about the slightest silliest things. They worry people are talking about them; they worry that people are not talking about them; they lose sleep over little things.
What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Focus is on “Who am I?”—the meaning of life, purpose or mission in life, long-term goals, a sense of priorities, knowing one’s place in the world, a sense of why one is here on earth. Tasks are very involved—for some it may involve religion, for others it means finding a mentor, for all it means much self-reflection
What is Spirituality (lifetime)
Leaving relationships, jobs, etc. rather than face your problems.
What is Withdrawing
Arises when people can't handle their life circumstances and lash out to relieve stress or pain
What is Overwhelmed Anger
this person is the out of the way family member
What is The Lost Child
Codependents do not feel happy or content with themselves. They look to others to supply them their happiness or their needs.
What is Dependency
Focus is on relapse prevention. Tasks involve decisions about relationships, residence, leisure, job, and family. Results take somewhat longer because these changes are more involved and may directly affect other people.Building a long-term foundation occupies most of one’s attention
What is Lifestyle Change (6-18 months)
Forcing down memories of our using behavior and consequences of use.
What is Suppression
Ongoing resentment toward others and life in general
This person ignores the problem and present things in a positive manner as if the roles within the family did not exist.
What is The Hero
Codependents blame, threaten, beg, bribe, and advise others. They don't mean what they say and don't say what they mean.
What is Poor Communication Skills
Focus is on long-term issues—trauma, psychological disorders, personality issues, unresolved conflicts.Tasks are more involved and require significant time-investment, such as psychotherapy. Results are less specific because they involve internal change.
What is Self-Knowledge (greater than 18 months)
"My life is unmanageable, but it'll get better if I move to another place."
What is Geographic Escapes
Using anger to make some positive difference such as becoming involved in a cause or movement for a positive change
What is Constructive Anger
This person covers or draws attention from the problem
What is The Scapegoat
Codependents say they won't tolerate something from anyone, and then engage themselves in exactly that.
What is Poor Boundaries
They may be going through the motions due to pressure from legal trouble, a loved one, or even an employer, but they are still unaware of the severity of the situation. During this phase addicts will typically avoid conversations about addiction or avoid those who bring them up.
What is Pre-Contemplation