Friendships🫶🏽
Someone is nice to you when you’re talking one on one, but is mean to you in front of others: they invite you to a party
Red Flag: They’re not an honest friend if they’re nice to you in private but mean to you in public
A friend says they’ll call/text you over the weekend just to chat, but you didn’t get anything by Saturday afternoon. You want to text them on Sunday morning
Green Flag: people are busy on Saturday’s
A friend stops being your best friend after you asked them to stop doing something you did not like. They start hanging out with a new best friend and rub it in your face. Then they invite you to their birthday party.
Red Flag: they did both respect your boundaries. It appears they responded by trying to make you jealous
You find out someone is planning a mean prank on a classmate. You decide to warn them.
Green Flag: you are taking action and helping someone- they may become your friend now
Can you be best friends with this person?
Red Flag: Maybe they're just being sarcastic and not mean, but if you don't like those type of jokes- you may want to keep your distance
Someone tells you they don’t want a girlfriend/boyfriend but you still think they’re attractive: you want to invite them to the school dance as a date
Red Flag: They’re not interested in dating
A crush tells you they like you back and you start dating. But then you see them spending more time with someone else and less time with you.
Red Flag: ask them if they still want to date you
Your best friend keeps ditching plans without telling you in advance. You ask them to start giving you a heads up and they apologize but do it again.
Red Flag: if an apology isn’t followed by a change in behavior, it may not be a real apology
Someone is nice to you in elementary school. You go to different middle schools, but see them again in the same high school. They are still nice to you.
Green Flag: this person cares about you! He can be a friend
Your friend becomes very competitive when you're playing in teams. They are nice to you when you're doing your own thing, but when you're working on a project together- they don't listen to your ideas.
Can you be best friends?
Red Flag: They're not being mean- but they aren't doing a good job at making deals and working together.
You can be class mates, you can be casual friends, but you might not get along enough to be best friends.
Someone tells you the don’t use social media but you find them in the “people you may know”/“suggested for you” tab: you want to add them as a friend
Red Flag: They may not want you to see their social media (it’s private)
A friend says you’re cool and wants to hang out, but when you do they don’t respect your personal space and boundaries (touching too much, saying things that make you feel uncomfortable)
Red Flag: ask them what they like about you and then tell them which actions you are comfortable and uncomfortable with
Your class mate asks you to do your part in a group project but you forget to do it on time. They let the teacher know they did all the work
Green Flag: if they tried to work things out with you and you didn’t comply, they have the right to ask for help from someone else
A friend makes a joke about you in front of others and you feel embarrassed. You ask them not to do it again and they apologize.
Green Flag: this person respects you and is acting like a good friend
Your best friend texts and calls you all the time- even when you tell them you will be busy and need some space. When they see you hanging out with someone else, they give you the silent treatment.
Should you stay best friends with them?
Red Flag: They are acting too jealous. It's okay to have many friends- some people even have more than one best friend. Consider taking a break from this jealous friend
A classmate says hi to you on everyday. On Friday they have a long conversation with you and ask if you if you have plans over the weekend. Next Monday they ask you how your plans went.
Can you invite them to hang out next weekend?
Green Flag: They seem to care- they may be interested in becoming friends.
A teacher puts you in a group project with class mates you do not know very well. There's a lot of work to do.
Your class mate tells you to do all the typing and they will just edit and spellcheck.
Your friend asks you if you're okay so you share a personal problem with them. When another person walks up to you and asks what both of you are talking about, your friend changes the topic.
Green Flag: Your friend is respecting your privacy- they are trying to protect you.
This is a friend you can trust.
When your friend asks about your weekend, they keep interrupting with fun facts about themselves.
You wonder if they are really paying attention to you
Red Flag: Friends take turns listening to each other to show that they care about what the other has to say.
You don't have many friends at school until you make a mean joke about someone else. Suddenly more people are hanging out with you- but they expect you to keep making mean jokes.
Are these safe friends?
Red Flag: If you find yourself having to do something you don't like-or something that is inappropriate- just to fit in, that group may not be a healthy fit.
A class mate has been talking to you, has been having longer conversations about your favorite things, and has been offering to work with you in class and sit with you at lunch.
Could you be their friend?
Green Flag: This classmate seems to get along with you- maybe you can ask them to hang out over the weekend, spring break, or summer vacation!
Your crush tells you they are not busy this weekend. They have been laughing at all of your jokes all week and have been asking you questions about your favorite hobbies.
What can you do?
Green Flag: They may like you- ask them to hang out this weekend
A friend tells you something and asks you to keep it between you and him. During lunch, somebody says something that reminds you of your friend's secret- so you feel like sharing the secret to jump into the conversation.
Red Flag: That's an invasion of privacy- your friend trusted YOU. It is not your place to share other people's personal information.
The kids at the lunch table are talking amongst themselves about a new burger place they want to try out after school.
You overhear them and decide to follow them there and try to talk to them.
Red Flag: If you were not invited somewhere, showing up uninvited could be seen as rude or stalking.
Try talking to one of the group members first and asking if you can go with them to try out the burger place.
You helped a classmate with their class work. Now that classmate smiles and says hi to you every time they see you at school.
That classmate asks to sit with you at lunch.
Green Flag: That person seems to appreciate your help. If they are inviting you to hang out- they may want to get to know you better.
Talk to them so you can see if you can become friends.