Projections & Perceptions
Projection is defined as. Give an example from relationships.
A projection is when we assume someone else feels something we actually feel. Ex: Thinking someone is judging us when we’re judging ourselves.
What’s an example of an internalized story you were told (or told yourself) about relationships?
I’m too sensitive, I always mess things up, I have to earn love.
What kind of role do you tend to take in relationships?
Helper, peacekeeper, fixer, avoider, joker, caretaker, etc.
If your emotion today were a type of weather, what would it be?
(Any metaphor) — sunny, cloudy, foggy, thunderstorm, breezy.
Name something small that made you feel cared for recently.
A text check-in, someone making space for me, a kind comment, quiet company.
Name one way we might assume someone is upset with us… even if they haven’t said so.
Their body language changes, they’re quiet, they don’t reply quickly.
The story I tell myself when someone pulls away is…
They don’t care anymore, or I did something wrong.
What does a balanced relationship feel like?
Mutual care, trust, emotional safety, freedom to be authentic.
What animal do you act like when overwhelmed?
Turtle (withdraw), porcupine (spiky), lion (roars), chameleon (adapts).
If you were a plant, how would someone best take care of you?
Water me gently, give me space but not isolation, check my roots now and then.
Why do we project onto others?
It can protect us from uncomfortable feelings like shame, fear, or vulnerability.
What does it mean to rewrite an internal narrative?
It means creating a new, kinder belief about yourself or your relationships that reflects growth and truth, not fear.
Name one relationship where you felt emotionally safe.
Answers will vary—look for themes like feeling listened to, accepted, or not judged.
What’s a natural element that matches how you feel in conflict?
Volcano (erupts), wave (crashes), iceberg (cold outside, deep underneath).
Describe a cozy space where you feel totally yourself.
Bed with blankets, a forest trail, quiet cafe, reading corner, online gaming chat.
Think of a time you thought someone was mad at you—but they weren’t. What was really going on for you?
I was anxious, overthinking, or assuming based on past experiences.
What’s a kinder or more curious version of “I’m too much for people”?
I have big feelings and the right people can meet me there.
In your family growing up, what role did you play?
Parentified child, golden child, invisible one, black sheep, perfectionist, etc.
Think of a tree. What kind of boundaries does that tree model?
Deep roots, firm trunk, flexible branches = grounded but adaptable boundaries.
Share a quote, lyric, or saying that helps when you feel disconnected.
“You are not a burden.” “Feelings aren’t facts.” “Even the moon needs darkness.”
Rewrite this projection: “They didn’t text back, so they must be done with me.”
"They might be busy, overwhelmed, or not in a space to respond right now—it’s not necessarily about me.”
If your internalized voice had a name or character, what would it be?
“The Critic,” “The Ghost of Ex-Friendships,” “Little Me,” or “Control Captain.” (Creative and varied answers encouraged!)
How do you know when you’re over- or under-functioning in a relationship?
Feeling drained, resentful, overly responsible—or passive, withdrawn, avoidant.
What does the ocean teach us about emotional waves?
Emotions rise and fall, they pass if we ride them instead of resisting them.
One thing you wish others understood about how you show up in relationships?
"Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I’m not present.” “I feel deeply even if I don’t say it right away.” “I need time to regulate before I can talk.