Interpersonal Effectiveness
the "N" in DEAR MAN, be willing to give to get. Offer and ask for other solutions to the problem.
What is Negotiate?
EX: holding your partner so they can't leave. Slamming them into a wall or locker. Grabbing. Shoving. Hitting.
What is Physical Abuse?
EX: Being able to express your feelings or opinions. Knowing it's okay to disagree. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
What is open communication?
EX: overshares personal information. Difficulty saying no to the requests of others.
What are Porous Boundaries?
What are attachment styles?
the "M" in DEAR MAN. Keep your focus on your GOALS. Don't get distracted.
What is (stay) mindful?
EX: Putting down your partner or calling them names. Constant criticism. Embarrassing your partner.
EX: Holding hands. Hugging. Kissing. Asking before acting.
EX: Avoids intimacy and close reltionships. Unlikely to ask for help.
What are Rigid Boundaries?
Attachment style characterized by a healthy self-esteem and healthy confidence. Engages well with others, maintains good relationships.
What is secure attachment?
the "D" in DEAR MAN. Stick to the facts and tell the person exactly what you are reacting to.
What is Describe?
EX: Using jealousy as a sign of love. Accusing your partner of cheating on you. Not letting your partner have other friends.
What is Possessiveness?
EX: Making decisions together. Doing things for each other. Going places you both enjoy.
What is Shared Responsibility?
EX: Values own opinions. Doesn't compromise values for others.
What are healthy boundaries?
Attachment style characterized by high self esteem and confidence; and difficulty connecting intimately with others.
What is avoidant attachment style?
the first "A" in DEAR MAN. Do not assume that others will figure out what you want.
What is Assert?
EX: Yelling or screaming. Using a threatening tone. Tearing up pictures.
What is Intimidation?
EX: Being supportive. Wanting the best for your partner. Being okay with your partner having different friends.
What is trust and support?
The appropriateness of boundaries depends heavily on ______. What's appropriate to say when you're out with friends might not be appropriate when you're at work.
What is Setting?
Attachment style characterized by low self-esteem and low confidence; and high dependence on others.
What is anxious attachment style?
The "R" in DEAR MAN. Reward the person ahead of time by explaining positive effects of getting what you want or need.
What is Reinforce?
EX: Treating your partner like a baby. Making all of the decisions. Setting all of the rules in the relationship.
What is Domination?
EX: Accepting Change. Being willing to compromise. Working to find solutions that are agreeable to both people.
What is Fairness & Negotiation?
Some ___ have very different expectations when it comes to boundaries. In some, it's inappropriate to express emotions publicly. In others, emotional expression is encouraged.
What is Culture?
Attachment style characterized by low self-esteem and low confidence; difficulty connecting intimately with others. Connection is feared, yet desired.
What is disorganized attachment style?