Green Flags
This is when your partner encourages your personal growth and hobbies.
What is both people's needs are met?
This is when a partner checks your phone or messages without permission.
What is disregarding boundaries?
Listening to understand, not just to reply.
What is listening to understand and connect?
A clear "yes" or "no" is this type of boundary.
What is a direct boundary?
Your partner talks to their ex-partner frequently.
What is a situation that requires communication and clear boundaries?
You and your partner can openly share feelings, even when it's difficult.
What is direct, open communication?
When a partner tries to keep you away from your friends and family.
What is isolating?
Instead of blaming, this communication style uses "I feel..." statements.
What is using an "I" statement?
It's important to do this when someone crosses a boundary you have set.
What is communicate or enforce the boundary?
In the beginning, your partner wants to be with you constantly and says "I just love being with you so much."
What is level of intensity-passion, sharing, intimacy?
Disagreements are handled with discussion and compromise, not yelling.
What is speaks respectfully, offers feedback and complements?
A partner who makes you feel responsible for their emotions is doing this.
What is not taking responsibility?
This type of listening involves paying full attention and showing you're engaged.
What is listens generously?
Saying "I'm not available to talk right now, but I can later" is an example of this.
What is setting a time boundary?
When your partner does not share your belief system about finances, religion, family, etc.
What is different values?
Feeling safe to be your authentic self without fear of judgment.
What is feeling safe being authentic and honest?
A partner who makes frequent, belittling "jokes" at your expense.
What is belittling?
Two main types of communication: one uses words, the other uses body language.
What are verbal and non-verbal communication?
These boundaries relate to your physical space and who is allowed in it.
What are physical boundaries?
Your partner is always talking negatively about others behind their back.
What is gossiping?
Both maintain individual friendships and identity outside of the relationship.
What is maintain relationships and interests outside of this relationship?
A pattern of behavior used to gain and maintain power and control over a partner.
What is control things (money, transportation, all decision making?
Resolving a disagreement where both partners feel heard and respected.
What is values each other's opinions?
Non-physical boundaries related to your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs.
What are emotional or mental boundaries?
Your partner avoids serious conversations and says "Let's not fight" whenever you bring up an issue.
What is conflict avoidance? (Accommodation)