IMPROVE
In IMPROVE, this letter reminds you to picture a calming place, situation, or outcome.
What is I for Imagery?
Is "Everyone is judging me" a fact or a thought?
What is a thought?
(It may feel true but it cannot be proven.)
Your friend is upset that you made plans without them. They tell you they feel left out but do not demand that you cancel your plans. Is this automatically a red flag?
Answer: What is no?
Why: Having uncomfortable feelings is not automatically unhealthy. Communicating those feelings respectfully while allowing the other person to make their own choices can be a green flag.
List physical warning signs of anger
Racing heart, clenched fists, tense muscles, and feeling hot
Listening to calming music, breathing techniques, and medication can fit this part of IMPROVE.
What is R for Relaxation
When putting a negative thought “on trial,” what information do you consider?
What is evidence that supports the thought and evidence against the thought?
Someone says, “If you really cared about me, you wouldn't hang out with them anymore.” Name the behavior or explain why this is a red flag.
What is manipulation or controlling behavior?
Anger can sometimes cover up other emotions. Name three feelings that might be underneath anger.
What are hurt, fear, embarrassment, disappointment, sadness, jealousy, rejection, guilt, or anxiety?
Name four parts of the IMPROVE acronym.
Imagery, Meaning, Prayer, Relaxation, One thing in the moment, Vacation, and Encouragement
Your thought is: “I failed a test, so I’m stupid and I’ll never succeed.” Give a more balanced replacement thought.
What is “One bad grade doesn't define my intelligence or what I can accomplish. I can learn from it and try a different strategy next time.”?
Two friends have an argument and both say things they regret. Later, one takes responsibility, apologizes without making excuses, listens to the other person's feelings, and changes their behavior. What relationship green flag does this demonstrate?
What is accountability?
Instead of yelling, “You NEVER listen to me!” rewrite it as an assertive I-statement.
What is “I feel frustrated when I don't feel heard. Can we slow down and talk about this?”