Revising 1
Editing 1
Revising 2
Editing 2
100

The bluebonnet usually appears in March or April and to last through early May. 

What is the BEST way to revise this sentence?

 A  The bluebonnet usually appears in March or April but to last through early May.

 B  The bluebonnet usually appears in March or April and lasts through early May.

 C  The bluebonnet usually appears in March or April and through early May. 

D  The bluebonnet usually appears in March or April it lasts through early May.

B  The bluebonnet usually appears in March or April and lasts through early May.

100

(1) In the 1820s, the land we call Texas was part of Mexico. (2) But a Missouri Man had a big dream. (3) He wanted to build a settlement in Texas. (4) Moses Austin knew he had to get permission from the people who were in charge of Texas. (5) He met with officials and finaly received a land grant. (6) Sadly, he died before he could move forward with his plan, but his son took over. (7) Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas he founded a small colony. (8) The group settled near the Brazos River and became known as the Old 300. (9) The Old 300 faced joys and hardships as they built their new life in a place so far from home. 

What change needs to be made in sentence 2? 

A Change Man to man

B Change had to has 

C Change big to bigger

D Change dream to dreem

A Change Man to man

100

(1) It was a beautiful sunny day, and the park was filled with families enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon together. (2) Daniel had noticed some ants nearby, but he wasn’t concerned. (3) He had seen a lot of ants at picnics before. (4) These were fire ants. 

Sadah would like to replace sentence 4 with a sentence that helps create a more effective opening for her story. Which of the following can replace sentence 4 and improve this paper’s opening? 

A But Daniel didn’t know that the ants in this park were fire ants. 

B But his family had had picnics at many different parks in their old city. 

C But Daniel and his parents had seen a lot of ants at other picnics too. 

D But when ants came around, Daniel’s mom knew just what to do.

A But Daniel didn’t know that the ants in this park were fire ants.

100

(1) Every year, thousands of people travel to a small village in the countryside of Russia. (2) In this village they can explore huge, strange pieces of art. (3) Some people search inside a twisting model of the human brain, others walk past rows of wooden towers that stand like soldiers in a field. (4) One sculpture looks like a pirate ship, and another looks like a volcano that actually glows and shoots smoke. (5) All of them are made out of natural materials, such as branches, twigs, soil, or even snow. (6) The sculptures are found at one of Russias most famous art festivals called Archstoyanie. 

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 6? F Change are found to is found 

G Change Russias to Russia’s 

H Change famous to famus 

J No change should be made in sentence 6.

G Change Russias to Russia’s 

200

(1) Noah peered into the cloudy water swirling in the jar. (2) The three tadpoles he had scooped up from the creek were swishing their tails back and forth. (3) It almost looked as if they were waving hello. (4) Noah put the little creatures in a small fish tank in his backyard. (5) The tank was filled with water that he had lugged up from the creek to make sure that the tadpoles felt at home. (6) Noah’s new little pets seemed to be on this first day mostly eyes and tails. (7) Their big heads bobbled in a funny way as they swam. 

What is the BEST revision to make in sentence 6?

 A  Noah’s new little pets are what seemed to be mostly eyes and tails on this first day. 

B  On this first day, Noah’s new little pets seemed to be mostly eyes and tails. 

C  The new little pets seemed to be mostly eyes and tails for Noah on this first day. 

D  On this first day, it seemed to be mostly eyes and tails of Noah’s new little pets.

B  On this first day, Noah’s new little pets seemed to be mostly eyes and tails

200

(1) In the 1820s, the land we call Texas was part of Mexico. (2) But a Missouri Man had a big dream. (3) He wanted to build a settlement in Texas. (4) Moses Austin knew he had to get permission from the people who were in charge of Texas. (5) He met with officials and finaly received a land grant. (6) Sadly, he died before he could move forward with his plan, but his son took over. (7) Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas he founded a small colony. (8) The group settled near the Brazos River and became known as the Old 300. (9) The Old 300 faced joys and hardships as they built their new life in a place so far from home. 

What is the correct way to write sentence 7? 

A Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas. And founded a small colony. 

B Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas and founded it. A small colony. 

C Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas. Founding a small colony.

 D Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas and founded a small colony.  

D Stephen F. Austin brought 300 settlers to Texas and founded a small colony.  

200

(6) Unlike fish, dolphins are mammals, that breathe air. (7) They can stay under the water for up to 15 minutes with one breath. (8) Dolphins can control when they exhale. (9) The air comes out through their blowholes and makes bubbles. (10) One kind of air bubble is shaped like a circle and called a bubble ring it happens to be the perfect sea toy.

 What change, if any, should be made in sentence 6? 

A Change are to were

B Delete the comma after mammals 

C Change that to they 

D No change should be made in sentence 6.

C Change that to they

200

(7) Artist Nikolay Polissky created the festival in 2006. (8) However, the idea had begun years earlyer. (9) In 1989, he had moved away from Moscow. (10) Polissky wanted to enjoy the beauty of Writing - EDITING Page 21 the countryside. (11) He came upon a small town and knew it was where he was going to live. (12) He was not disappointed. (13) I was looking for a beautiful place,” Polissky said. (14) “It simply astounded me.” 

How does sentence 13 need to be changed? 

F Insert quotation marks at the beginning of the sentence 

G Change beautiful to beautifull

 H Delete the comma after place

 J Sentence 13 does not need to be changed.

F Insert quotation marks at the beginning of the sentence

300

(20) Before long, the heads of the tadpoles began to look less like fish heads and more like the heads of tiny frogs. (21) Small bulges puffed out on the sides of each tadpole’s head. (22) One day, the bulges seemed to turn into little arms. (23) Noah put some bigger stones in the tank to give the froglets a place to crawl up out of the water when they were ready. (24) Over time, as their arms and legs grew, the tadpoles’ tails shrank. (25) Noah’s little pets were changing before his eyes. 

What change, if any, should be made in sentence 21? A  Small bulges puffed out but on each tadpole’s head and on the sides.

 B  Small bulges of each tadpole’s head puffed out so on the sides. 

C  Small bulges or the sides they puffed out of each tadpole’s head.

 D  No change is needed.


D  No change is needed.

300

(1) In the late 1920s, Caleb and his family moved west. (2) They were excited to settle on there piece of land. (3) Caleb’s parents built a cabin, planted crops, and began to farm. (4) Caleb and his sister helped with chores and made friends on the prairie. (5) Things went good for a while. (6) However, in the summer of 1931, a horrible drought set in. (7) Within months, Caleb’s mother and father were having difficulty growing anything. (8) The wind began to blow the dry topsoil and this caused huge clouds of dust to fill the air. (9) Caleb’s family was experiencing the historic American event that became known as the Dust Bowl. 

What change should be made in sentence 5? 

A Change Things to Thing’s 

B  Change went to going 

C Change good to well

 D Change the period to a comma

C Change good to well

300

(14) When Hailey was only six years old, she wanted to find a way to help her parents pay for some of Livy’s medical care. (15) First, she drew a bright painting, where she drew pink flowers, ladybugs, and a butterfly. (16) Then she asked her father to help her sell it online. (17) Surprisingly, the painting sold for $66.00. (18) Hailey gave the money to her parents to help pay for Livy’s health care. 

What is the best way to revise sentence 15?

 F First, she drew a bright painting, drawing bright pink flowers, ladybugs, and a butterfly.

 G First, she drew a bright painting with pink flowers, ladybugs, and a butterfly.

 H First, she drew a bright painting, the painting had bright pink flowers, ladybugs, and also a butterfly.

 J Sentence 15 does not need to be revised.

 G First, she drew a bright painting with pink flowers, ladybugs, and a butterfly.

300

(26) Marcos forgot about the competition and stopped to sketch the deer. (27) As nature came to life in his drawing, Marcos heard Robert telling everyone that he had completed his booklet. (28) At first, Marcos felt a pain in his stomach. (29) Robert proudly showed Mrs. Miller his booklet and Marcos watched as Robert was given the first Junior Park Ranger badge. 

What change should be made in sentence 29?

 A Change showed to was showing 

B Change his to this

 C Insert a comma after booklet

 D Insert a period after watched


C Insert a comma after booklet

400

(11) When Mo sewed his first tie, it didn’t turn out so well. (12) He says it looked like a tie that a clown would wear. (13) He kept trying to make better ones, though, and pretty soon, everyone started to tell him how great his bow ties looked. (14) He gave some away as gifts, and more and more people learned about them. (15) Mo was selling his ties as part of his new company, Mo’s Bows.

Which transition is best to add to the beginning of sentence 15?

 F However 

G Therefore 

H After all 

J Soon

J Soon

400

(1) In the late 1920s, Caleb and his family moved west. (2) They were excited to settle on there piece of land. (3) Caleb’s parents built a cabin, planted crops, and began to farm. (4) Caleb and his sister helped with chores and made friends on the prairie. (5) Things went good for a while. (6) However, in the summer of 1931, a horrible drought set in. (7) Within months, Caleb’s mother and father were having difficulty growing anything. (8) The wind began to blow the dry topsoil and this caused huge clouds of dust to fill the air. (9) Caleb’s family was experiencing the historic American event that became known as the Dust Bowl. 

What change needs to be made in sentence 8? 

A Insert a comma after topsoil

B Delete and 

C Change clouds to cloud 

D Change fill to full

A Insert a comma after topsoil

400


(5) Livy and Hailey are twins, but Livy was born with many health problems. (6) Livy is unable to speak or walk, and sometimes she has to spend time in the hospital. (7) She also has epilepsy, which is a brain condition that causes a person to have seizures. (8) There are different types of seizures, and many cause muscles to shake or jerk. (9) There are other kinds of brain conditions that people can be born with, too. 

Jake has included an unnecessary sentence in the second paragraph (sentences 5–9). Which sentence should be deleted from this paragraph?

 A Sentence 5

 B Sentence 7 

C Sentence 8 

D Sentence 9

D Sentence 9

400

(31) Marcos spoke up to help. (32) “It’s because of the towering cliffs and the colorfull rock layers. (33) It’s because there are so many different plants and animals living here. (34) And it’s because of the Colorado River and the caves down below, Marcos explained. 

 What change should be made in sentence 34?

 A Change And to and 

B Change of to off 

C Insert a comma after Colorado River

 D Insert quotation marks after the comma

 D Insert quotation marks after the comma

500

(21) The models inspired me to practice my skills at the Construction Zones and Creation Nation. (22) In these areas kids could use LEGO bricks to build anything they wanted. (23) People called “master builders” walked around and helped visitors with their LEGO creations. (24) There was a huge map of the United States in the Creation Nation area. (25) It was the size of a basketball court. (26) Visitors were able to build a LEGO brick model and add the LEGO brick model they built to any state on the map. (27) I made a bluebonnet out of LEGO bricks and put it on Texas,

What is the most effective revision to make in sentence 26?

 A Visitors were able to build a LEGO brick model and add it to any state on the map. 

B Visitors were able to build a LEGO brick model to any state on the map they could add what they built.

 C Visitors were able to build a LEGO brick model, then they were able to add that LEGO model to any state on the map. 

D Visitors were able to build a LEGO brick model, then visitors could add the LEGO brick model to any state on the map.

A Visitors were able to build a LEGO brick model and add it to any state on the map.

500

(22) The Frio River Treetop is closer to home it is located near Leakey, Texas. (23) Two tree houses are built into an old cypress tree. (24) They are 40 feet above the Frio River, and together they can hold up to 20 people. (25) The nearby area has swimming, fishing, canoeing, and hiking. (26) This makes it a greatest spot for someone who is looking for a more active setting. 

What is the correct way to write sentence 22?

 F The Frio River Treetop is closer. To home, it is located near Leakey, Texas.

 G The Frio River Treetop is closer to home. It is located near Leakey, Texas.

 H The Frio River Treetop is closer to home as a result it is located, near Leakey, Texas.

 J No change is needed.

G The Frio River Treetop is closer to home. It is located near Leakey, Texas.

500

(27) Today, Hailey sells her art and bracelets through Livy’s Hope. (28) The money she raises now helps many families. (29) Each year, Livy’s Hope also runs a “Lemonade for Livy” event. (30) People set up lemonade stands during the last weekend in July. (31) They give the money they raise to the Epilepsy Foundation. (32) In 2014, people in 47 states set up lemonade stands 

Jake’s seventh paragraph (sentences 27–32) needs a closing sentence. Which of the following should be added after sentence 32 to help close this paragraph?

 F This event is held only one month each year. 

G They could earn even more money by also selling iced tea and food.

 H Everyone who helps run the charity hopes people will continue to support this wonderful event.

 J Other groups that help people should set up lemonade stands because these stands are a huge success.

H Everyone who helps run the charity hopes people will continue to support this wonderful event.

500

(1) “Stay on the trail,” Mrs. Miller called as the guide led her and her fourth-grade class down into the canyon. (2) Marcos adjusted the straps to his backpack and balanced his feet. (3) With big eyes and a wide mouth, Marcos looked below at the Colorado River. (4) The river looked like a tiny snake slithering threw the rock. (5) “Attention,” Mrs. Miller announced. (6) “Remember, your assignment is to look for the plants and animals on your list as we walk on the trail. (7) Our guide will hand out a Junior Park Ranger badge to the first student who completes the Grand Canyon checklist in your booklet,” Mrs. Miller explained. (8) “And don’t get in front of the guide. (9) You must stay behind him on the trail.” 

How should sentence 6 be changed? 

A Change Remember to Rember 

B Change is to was 

C Change walk to walking 

D Sentence 6 should not be changed

D Sentence 6 should not be changed