Math
I am four times as old as my daughter. In 20 years time I shall be twice as old as her.
How old are we now?
I am 40 and my daughter is 10.
What word is always pronounced wrong?
Wrong!
What do you call a bird in winter?
Brrrrrrd.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When It's not raining
Hockey Stick and ball cost $50. If the Stick cost $49 more than the ball.
What is the cost of each ?
Hockey Stick $49.50 & ball $0.50
How can you take 2 from 5 and leave 4?
F I V E
Remove the 2 letters F and E from five and you have IV.
You answer me, although I never ask you questions.
What am I?
A telephone.
What animal is bad to play cards with?
A Cheetah.
A girl has as many brothers as sisters, but each brother has only half as many brothers as sisters. How many brothers and sisters are in the family?
3 brothers and 4 sisters
Dracula was out getting a drink but his watch was broken so he died.
Why?
Dracula is a vampire and it was a solar eclipse but his watch said it was night. So the sun came out after a few minutes killing him.
How do you make the number 7 an even number without addition, subtraction, multiplication or division?
Drop the "S".
What has an eye but can not see?
A Spear
The alphabet goes from A to Z. What goes from Z to A?
Zebra
There are four men on a boat in the middle of the ocean with five cigarettes and nothing to make a flame. But five seconds later they get a cigarette lighter. How?
They throw one cigarette away
If a white house is white and a yellow house is yellow, what color is a green house?
A greenhouse is for plants. Therefor it’s made of glass, so it is clear.
How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Once, because after you subtract it's not 25 anymore.
Which three letters can frighten a thief away?
I C U.
How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
None, sheep can’t knit
If you throw it out the window, you'll leave a grieving wife. But leave it in the middle of the door, and you might just save a life.
The Letter N
A hobo picks up cigarette butts from the ground and can make a cigarette with 4 butts. If he finds 16 cigarette butts, how many cigarettes can he make?
The answer is 5. He makes 4 cigarettes with the 16 butts. Then he smokes them and has 4 more butts to make another cigarette.
One is to three as three is to five and five is to four and four is the magic number.
What is the pattern?
One has three letters in the word three has five letters in it five has four letters and four has four letters in it (if you try more numbers they will always come back to the number four: so four is the magic number)
What 4-letter word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right?
NOON
How does a dog stop a video?
By pressing the paws button
You'll find me in sand, but not in the sea. I'm something you keep between you and me.
The word "and"
A natural state, I'm sought by all.
Go without me, and you shall fall.
You do me when you spend,
and use me when you eat to no end.
Balance.