Funny
Why did I go golfing with two pairs of pants on?
just in case I get a hole in 1.
David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?
David
The more you have of it, the less you see
darkness
What turns everything around but does not move?
a MIRROR
What can’t talk on its own but will reply when spoken to?
An echo
What word is always pronounced wrong?
Wrong
I am made of rock surrounded by wood. Everyone uses me, what am I?
PENCIL
When I take five and add six, I get eleven, but when I take six and add seven, I get one. What am I?
a CLOCK
Where does today come before yesterday?
The dictionary
If you have me, you want to share me; if you share me, you won't have me. What am I?
A SECRET
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
She likes to rock and roll?
What word can you add letters to to make it shorter?
Short
A man leaves home and turns left three times. When he returns home, he finds two men wearing masks. Who are the two men?
The UMPIRE AND THE CATCHER
What belongs to you, but other people use it more than you do?
YOUR NAME
What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?
The future
There is an apple tree on a cliff. If the wind is blowing 15mph to the west, where would the apple fall?
DOWN
Only one color, but not one size, stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in the sun, but not in rain, doing no harm and feeling no pain. What is it?
SHADOW
A family lives in a large tower apartment building, 10 floors high. Every day, their son takes the elevator from the family’s apartment on the 10th floor to the ground floor and goes to school. When he returns in the afternoon, he uses the elevator to get to the fifth floor, and then uses the stairs for the remaining five floors. Why?
Because he cannot reach the buttons higher than five.
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
YOUR BREATH
I'm tall when I'm young and short when I'm old. What am I?
a CANDLE
What gives you the ability to walk through walls?
DOORS
Those who have it least don't know that they have it. Those who have it most wish they had less of it, but not too little or none at all. What is it?
AGE
Which is faster? Hot or Cold?
Hot is faster, because you can catch a cold.
How many months have 28 days?
All 12 months have at least 28 days.
I start with M, end with X, and I have any number of letters in me. What am I?
a MAILBOX