Food
What 2 things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
When things go wrong, what can you always count on?
Your fingers
What has many keys but can’t open any doors?
A piano.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they are always stuffed.
What word is spelled wrong in the dictionary?
Wrong.
Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
Because they put on the salsa.
I follow you all the time and copy your every move, but you can’t touch me or catch me. What am I?
Your shadow.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch.
What do you call a chihuahua in the summer?
A hot dog!
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You are pointless.
You will buy me to eat but never eat me. What am I?
A plate.
I have no legs. I will never walk but always run. What am I?
A river.
What did the mom tomato say to the dawdling baby tomato?
“Ketchup.”
How do you catch a school of fish?
With a bookworm.
Why did the math book look so sad?
Because it was full of problems.
What is orange in color, green on top, and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What has hands but doesn’t clap?
A clock.
Four legs up, four legs down, soft in the middle, hard all around. What am I?
A bed.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
You see me once in June, twice in November and not at all in May. What am I?
The letter “e.”
What fruit can you never cheer up?
A blueberry.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Footsteps.
I have wings, I am able to fly, I'm not a bird yet I soar high in the sky. What am I?
An airplane.
Which fish costs the most?
A goldfish!
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Seven.