Funny
Why did I go golfing with two pairs of pants on?
Just in case I get a hole in 1.
Spelled forwards I'm what you do everyday, spelled backwards I'm something you hate. What am I?
LIVE/EVIL
The more you have of it, the less you see
Darkness
How many months have 28 days?
All 12 months have at least 28 days.
Mr. Red lives in the red house. Mr. Blue lives in the blue house. Mrs. Pink lives in the pink house. Who lives in the white house?
The President
What is never hungry during Thanksgiving?
a
A stuffed turkey
I come from a mine and get surrounded by wood. Everyone uses me to write and draw, what am I?
PENCIL
When I take five and add six, I get eleven, but when I take six and add seven, I get one. What am I?
A Clock
What question can you never honestly say yes to?
Are you asleep? / Are you sleeping?
If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you won't have me. What am I?
A secret
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair?
She likes to rock and roll.
I am seven letter word. I am very heavy. Take away two letters from me and you will get 8. Take away one letter and you will get 80. Who am I?
Weighty
A rooster lays an egg on the roof of a barn. Which way does the egg roll?
IT doesn’t, roosters don’t lay eggs.
What belongs to you but other people use it more than you do?
Your name
Kate’s mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___?
Kate! It’s Kate’s mother, after all.
There is an apple tree on a cliff. If the wind is blowing 15mph to the west, where would the apple fall?
DOWN
Only one color, but not one size, stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain, doing no harm and feeling no pain. What is it?
Shadow
A woman is sitting in her hotel room when there is a knock at the door. She opens the door to find a man whom she has never seen before. The man says "oh I'm sorry, I thought this was my room." He then goes down the hallway and takes the elevator. The woman goes back into her room and phones security. Why?
Because you don't knock on the door of your room.
What is harder to catch the faster you run?
Your breath
I am not alive, but I grow. I don’t have lungs, but I need air. I don’t have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
A Fire
What gives you the strength and power to walk through walls?
DOORS
Those who have it least don't know that they have it. Those who have it most wish they had less of it, but not too little or none at all. What is it?
Age
A bus driver goes the wrong way on a one way street. He passes the cops but they don't stop him. Why?
Because he was walking.
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
Mt. Everest
I start with M, end with X, and have never ending amount of letters. What am I?
A Mailbox