Life
Why was the calendar afraid?
It's days were numbered
What has a head, a tail, a face but no body?
A US Coin
I shave everyday but my beard stays the same, what am I?
A Barber
What weighs more: a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
Neither, they both weigh a ton
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
Your breathe
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
sneakers
What goes in a birdbath but never gets wet?
Bird's shadow
How many letters are in the alphabet?
11
the - 3
alphabet -8
What has one head, one foot and four legs?
A bed
What kind of band never plays music?
rubber band
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it
Where do you learn to make a banana split?
Sundae School
Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square
What's a robot's favorite snack?
Computer Chips
What has words, but never speaks?
a book
What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
Where's Pop Corn?
What has legs, but doesn’t walk?
table or chair
What has more letters than the alphabet?
Post Office
The more of this there is, the less you see. What is it?
Darkness
Why can't you trust stairs?
They're always up to something
What appears once in a minute, twice in a moment, but not once in a thousand years?
The letter "M."
A rooster is sitting on the roof of a barn facing west. If it laid an egg, would the egg roll to the north or to the south?
Roosters don't lay eggs... hens do.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a "hole-in-one"
If you’re running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?
2nd Place
Where does today come before yesterday?
Dictionary