Funny
I’m found in socks, scarves and mittens; and often in the paws of playful kittens. What am I?
yarn
In a year, there are 12 months. Seven months have 31 days. How many months have 28 days?
they all do!
what 5-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
short
A lift is on the ground floor. There are four people in the lift including me.
When the lift reaches first, floor, one person gets out and three people get in.
The lift goes up to the second floor, 2 people get out 6 people get in.
It then goes up to the next floor up, no-one gets out but 12 people get in. Halfway up to the next floor up the lift cable snaps, it crashes to the floor. Everyone else dies in the lift. How did I survive?
I got out on the second floor
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
dill with it
What invention lets you look right through a wall?
a window
Which travels faster? Hot or Cold?
Hot is faster, because you can catch a cold.
I come in different shapes and sizes. Parts of me are curved, other parts are straight. You can put me anywhere you like, but there is only one right place for me. What am I?
jigsaw puzzle piece
have no voice, yet I speak to you.
I tell of all things in the world that people do.I have leaves, but I am not a tree.I have pages, but I am not a bride.I have a spine, but I am not a man.I have hinges, but I am not a door.I have told you all. I cannot tell you more.What am I?
A book
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
What has lots of eyes, but can’t see?
a potato
First, I threw away the outside and cooked the inside. Then I ate the outside and threw away the inside. What did I eat?
corn on the cob
What makes more as you take them?
footsteps
I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food! What color was the bear?
White
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What has many teeth, but can’t bite?
a comb
Mike is a butcher. He is 5’10” tall. What does he weigh?
meat
A man went into a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone at the party who drunk the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?
The poison from the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually, as the ice cubes melted, the poison was released into the punch.
You are in a cookie factory, and need to make a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies. The recipe calls for exactly 4 cups of sugar. Problem is that you have two buckets. One bucket holds 5 cups, the other 3 cups. Using these buckets, how can you measure exactly 4 cups of sugar?
Solution 1: Fill the 3-cup bucket and pour it into the 5-cup bucket. Fill the 3-cup bucket again, and pour it into the 5-cup bucket until the 5-cup bucket is full. That will leave exactly 1 cup of sugar in the 3-cup bucket. Dump out the 5-cup bucket, and dump the 1 cup from the 3-cup bucket into the empty 5-cup bucket. This leaves 1 cup in the 5-cup bucket. Now fill the 3-cup bucket again and add it to the 5-cup bucket. Now you have exactly 4 cups of sugar in the 5-cup bucket!
Solution 2: Fill the 5-cup bucket. Pour it into the 3-cup bucket. This leaves 2 cups in the 5-cup bucket. Dump out the 3-cup bucket. Now pour the 2 cups from the 5 cup into the 3 cup. Refill the 5 cup. Now pour the 5 cup into the 3 cup until the 3 cup is full. That will leave exactly 4 cups in the 5-cup bucket!
Where would you find an elephant?
The same place you lost it.
What has a head and a tail but no body?
a coin
Which is heavier? A kg of feathers or a kg of rocks?
They are the same as they are both 1 kg
You are in a place called Jack’s World and there is only one law. There is a mirror, but no reflection. There is pizza with cheese, but not sausage. There is pepper, but no salt. There is a door, yet no entrance or exit. What is the law?
Everything (each word) in Jack’s World must contain double letters.
A man is the owner of a winery who recently passed away. In his will, he left 21 barrels (seven of which are filled with wine, seven of which are half full, and seven of which are empty) to his three sons. However, the wine and barrels must be split, so that each son has the same number of full barrels, the same number of half-full barrels, and the same number of empty barrels. Note that there are no measuring devices handy. How can the barrels and wine be evenly divided?
Two half-full barrels are dumped into one of the empty barrels. Two more half-full barrels are dumped into another one of the empty barrels. This results in nine full barrels, three half-full barrels, and nine empty barrels. Each son gets three full barrels, one half-full barrel, and three empty barrels
How do you stay warm in any room?
Go to the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.