What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg.
Why did the citrus tree go to the hospital?
Lemon-aid.
When I’m ripe, I’m green, when you eat me, I’m red, and when you spit me out, I’m black. What am I?
A watermelon.
After a train crashed, every single person perished. Who survived?
All of the couples.
You bought me for dinner but never eat me. What am I?
Cutlery.
You cut me, slice me, dice me, and all the while, you cry. What am I?
An onion.
I’m the father of fruits. What am I?
A papa-ya.
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Footsteps.
If you took two apples from a pile of three apples, how many apples would you have?
The one apple you took.
What did the Mom tomato say to the dawdling Baby tomato?
“Ketchup.”
What vegetable always loses in every competition yet is a terrific rapper?
Beets.
What goes up but never comes back down?
Your age.
What kind of vegetables are the most fun at parties?
Fungi.
How many eggs would a rooster lay over three weeks, provided it is adequately fed and housed?
Zero. Roosters do not lay eggs.
I am a stick stuck in a ball of sweetness. What am I?
Lollipop.
When things go wrong, what can you always count on?
Your fingers.
What is the richest nut?
A cash-ew.
I’m red or green and grow on a vine. I’m dried to make raisins and squeezed to make wine. What am I?
Grapes.
What fruit never wants to be alone?
A pear.
I am an odd number. Take away a letter and I become even. What number am I?
Seven.