WHERE SHOULD YOU GO IN THE ROOM IF YOU'RE FEELING COLD?
THE CORNER-THEY'RE USUALLY 90 DIGREES
HOW DO YOU STOP A DOG FROM BARKING IN THE PARKING LOT?
PUT HIM IN THE BARKING LOT
WHAT HAPPENS TO DUCKS THAT FLY UPSIDE DOWN?
THEY QUACK UP
WHAT DID ONE OCEAN SAY TO THE OTHER OCEAN?
NOTHING, IT JUST WAVED
WHY ARE CRABS SO BAD AT SHARING?
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL SHELLFISH
WHAT DOG KEEPS THE BEST TIME?
A WATCH DOG
HOW DO YOU STOP A DOG FROM BARKING IN THE BACK SEAT?
PUT HIM IN THE FRONT SEAT
WHAT DO YOU CALL A CRATE FULL OF DUCKS?
A BOX OF QUACKERS
WHY DO BIRDS FLY SOUTH FOR THE WINTER?
BECAUSE IT IS TOO FAR TO WALK
WHAT KIND OF SHOE DOES A SPY WEAR?
SNEAKERS
WHY SHOULD YOU NEVER TRUST STAIRS?
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS UP TO SOMETHING
WHAT DID THE PORKUPINE SAY TO THE CACTUS?
IS THAT YOU MAMMA?
WHAT KIND OF TREE CAN YOU CARRY IN YOUR HAND?
A PALM
WHAT DO DENTISTS CALL THEIR X-RAYS?
TOOTH PICS
WHAT IS A FROGS FAVORITE THING TO EAT AT MCDONALDS?
FRENCH FLIES
DO YOU WANT TO HEAR A CONSTRUCTION JOKE?
SORRY, I'M STILL WORKING ON IT
WHY DID THE BULLET END UP LOSING HIS JOB?
HE GOT FIRED
TAKE OFF MY SKIN-I WON'T CRY, BUT YOU WILL. WHAT AM I?
AN ONION
WHAT CAN YOU CATCH BUT NOT THROW?
A COLD
WHY DON'T SOME FISH PLAY PIANO?
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T TUNA FISH
WHERE DOES A SHEEP GET A HAIRCUT?
AT THE BAA-BAA SHOP
HOW DO YOU MEASURE A SNAKE?
IN INCHES-THEY DON'T HAVE FEET
HOW DO YOU MAKE A TISSUE DANCE?
YOU PUT A LITTLE BOOGIE IN IT
WHAT KIND OF ROOM HAS NO DOORS OR WINDOWS?
A MUSHROOM
A COWBOY RODE OUT INTO TOWN ON FRIDAY. HE STAYED FOR THREE NIGHTS AND RODE OUT ON FRIDAY. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?
HIS HORSE'S NAME IS FRIDAY