A
What are 2 things you can never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they are stuffed.
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
The letter "m".
A hole
What is the richest nut?
A cash-ew.
If 2 is a company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
What goes up, but never comes back down?
Your age.
How do you catch a school of fish?
With a bookworm.
I have cities but no houses. I have mountains but no trees. I have coasts but no sand. What am I?
A map.
Nobody empties me, but I never stay full for long. What am I?
The moon.
What's bought by the yard and worn by the foot?
A carpet.
You measure my life in hours and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy.
A candle.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday. He stays 3 nights and then rides out of town on Friday. How?
His horse's name is Friday.
A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree.
Who gets the banana first?
It is a coconut tree, so there aren't any bananas.
You see a boat filled with people. It has not sunk, but when you look again you don’t see a single person on the boat. Why?
All the people were married.