Sergio Ramos
If two snakes marry, what will their towels say?
Hiss and hers.
how many you take, that how many you leave behind?
Footsteps
Ask this question all day long, but always get completely different answers, and yet all the answers will be correct. What is the question?
What time is it?
What loses its head in the morning but gets it back at night?
A pillow.
Four cars come to a four-way stop, each coming from a different direction. They can’t decide who got there first, so they all go forward at the same time. All four cars go, but none crash into each other. How is this possible?
They all made right-hand turns.
What do the numbers 11, 69 and 88 all have in common?
They all read the same way when placed upside down.
What do the letter "t" and an island have in common?
They're both in the middle of water.
What has many rings but no fingers?
A phone
I sometimes run, but I can’t walk. What am I?
A nose
What starts with T, ends with T, and has T in it?
A teapot.
What comes down but never goes up?
Rain
What kind of ship has two mates but no captain?
Relationship
Every night I’m told what to do, and each morning I do what i’m told. But I still don’t escape your scold. What am I?
An alarm clock
What can you break without touching it?
A promise.
What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?
Turn 30.
I am easy to lift, but hard to throw. What am I?
Feather
Which fish costs the most?
Goldfish
What is full of holes but still holds water?
A sponge
Pronounced as one letter, And written with three, two letters there are, and two only in me. I’m double, I’m single, I’m black blue and gray, I’m read from both ends, and the same either way. What am I?
A eye
Who has married many women but was never married?
A priest
David's father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and _____?
David
What is more useful when it is broken?
An egg
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
I add 5 to 9 and get 2. The answer is correct, so what am I?
A clock. When it is 9 a.m., adding 5 hours would make it 2 p.m.
What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat, and 2/4 goat?
Chicago