Food!
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
The word “ton” (not spelled backwards = “not”)
What has a thumb and four fingers but isn’t actually alive?
Your gloves.
What 5-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Your right elbow
I can be cracked, made, told, and played. What am I?
A joke
What kind of room has no windows or doors?
A mushroom
I am the beginning of the end, as well as the end of time and space. I am essential to creation and I surround every place. What am I?
The letter “E”
What can travel around the world while staying in the same corner
A stamp
If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you won't have me. What am I?
A secret
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Footsteps
Why was the broom late?
It swept in.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg
I am a three-digit number. My second digit is four times more than my third. My first digit is seven less than my second. What am I?
182
I come from a mine and get surrounded by wood. Everyone uses me. What am I?
Pencil lead (graphite)
What flies forever, rests never?
The wind
The man who makes it doesn’t want it. The man who buys it doesn’t need it. The man who needs it doesn’t know it yet.
A coffin
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What kind of cup doesn’t hold water?
A cupcake
I have keys but no locks. I have space but no room. You can enter but can’t go inside. What am I?
A keyboard
It goes up and down the stairs without moving.
Carpet
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold
You spot a boat full of people but there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?
Everyone on board is married.
How do you organize a space party?
You planet.
What has no beginning, end, or middle. What am I?
A doughnut
What occurs once in every minute, twice in every moment, and never in a thousand years?
The letter “M”
What can be quick and deadly and gathers by the ocean?
Sand
I am invisible, weigh nothing, and if you put me in a barrel, it becomes lighter. What am I?
A hole
Two fathers and two sons went fishing. They caught three fish, and each person got one. How is this possible?
They are grandfather, father, and son — 3 people, not 4.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener.
I come out of the ground, I am sold in the market. He who buys me cuts off my tail, takes off my suit of silk, and weeps beside me when I am dead. What am I?
An onion
I am an odd number. Take away one letter and I become even. What number am I?
Seven
I have one head, one foot, and four legs. What am I?
A Bed
What animal can jump higher than a house?
All animals can jump higher than a house because houses can’t jump.
If you're running in a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in?
Second place
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I'll meet you at the corner.
I go in dry and come out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get. What am I?
A tea bag
If two’s company, and three’s a crowd, what are four and five?
Nine
I always have to work with something in my eye. What am I?
A needle
Alive without breath, As cold as death; Never thirsty, ever drinking, All in mail never clinking.
Fish
What can you keep after giving it to someone?
Your word
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
You buy me to eat, but you never eat me. What am I?
A plate (or fork/utensil)
If you throw me from the window, I leave a grieving wife. But leave me in the middle of the door, and I might just save a life. What am I?
The letter “n” (window → widow, door → donor)
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck
Were can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?
What is prison
I'm light as a feather, yet the strongest person can't hold me for 5 minutes. What am I?
Your breath
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
I exist in three states — solid, liquid, and whipped. I’m both spread and topping, but never eaten plain by those with restraint. What am I?
Cream
I’m a word. I contain six letters. Remove one and 12 remain. What am I?
Dozens
I have branches, but no fruit, trunks, or leaves. What am I?
A bank
David's parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the name of the third son?
David
What can you break, even if you NEVER pick it up or TOUCH it?
A promise
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
I'm a dessert named after a movement. I collapse easily but rise with pride. What am I?
Soufflé
What 4 days of the week start with the letter ‘t’?
Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow.
An electric train is moving 100 MPH, Which way does the smoke blow?
Electric trains don't blow smoke. :)
A man who was outside in the rain without an umbrella or hat didn't get a single hair on his head wet. Why?
He was bald
What question can you never answer yes to?
Are you asleep yet?
What’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.