When things go wrong, what can you always count on?
your fingers
What kind of cup doesn't hold water?
A cupcake.
What kind of dog has no tail?
A hot dog.
Nobody empties me, but I never stay full for long. What am I?
The moon.
A red house is made out of red bricks. A blue house is made out of blue bricks. What is a greenhouse made of?
Glass
What did the triangle say to the circle?
You are pointless
What kind of room has no doors or windows?
A mushroom.
What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A doughnut.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
You have a basket that's one foot in diameter and one foot deep. How many apples can you fit in the empty basket?
only one, because then it's not empty anymore
What has to be broken before you can use it?
An egg.
What has four fingers and a thumb but isn't alive?
A glove.
What animal can jump higher than a building?
Any animal that can jump - buildings don't jump, silly!
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they are always stuffed.
A word I know, six letters it contains, remove one letter and 12 remains, what is it?
Dozens
What fruit can you never cheer up?
A blueberry.
What has a head and a tail but no body?
A coin.
What gets wet while drying?
A towel.
Cats have four, bugs have four, but school has six. What are they?
Letters.
What months of the year have 28 days?
All of them!
First, you throw away my outside and cook the inside. Then you eat my outside and throw away my inside. What am I?
Corn
I sometimes run, but I cannot walk. What am I?
Your nose.
I'm tall when I'm young, and I'm short when I'm old. What am I?
A candle
Sam's parents have three kids. Their names are Huey, Dewey, and ____?
Sam!