Google is My Doctor
After reading one symptom online, you've diagnosed yourself with seven rare diseases. In reality, your itchy eyes, sneezing, and runny nose are probably caused by this common condition.
What are
Allergies?
This furry tree-dweller sleeps most of the day. The other part is spent convincing tourists it is not, in fact, a teddy bear.
What is
a koala?
If your friend says your joke is this, they're using this term to call it average, disappointing, or not as good as expected.
What is
"mid"?
A golden rule about living in Florida is this: "Never go swimming -or even go near - any bodies of water," because you can always guarantee that one of these massive reptiles is lurking just below the surface.
They'd also tell us to check the pool before jumping in-it happens more often than you'd think.
What is
an alligator?
The answer to this clue is George Washington.
Who is
George Washington?
Google says your sore throat means you're doomed. Your doctor says you probably just have this common infection caused by a virus that keeps half the school absent every winter.
What is the
Flu?
If your life goal is to avoid becoming a news headline, you should probably avoid swimming near this giant reptile that views "food chain" as more of a suggestion than a rule.
What is a
Saltwater crocodile?
This word describes someone who is extremely confident, charismatic, or successful—whether they deserve to be or not.
What is
"sigma"?
Florida is full of these types of black snakes, which are non-venomous and hunt rodents. While at daycare, my caretaker mistook one for a deadly cottonmouth and proceeded to hit it with a shovel in front of my friend and me.
What is
a black racer?
This U.S. state is known for Hollywood and has "California" in its name.
What is
California?
You stand up too quickly after sitting for an hour watching videos, and suddenly your vision looks like a low-budget special effect. This temporary feeling is often caused by a sudden drop in blood pressure.
What is
Dizziness (or a head rush)?
Tourists see this animal and think "cute." This animal sees the tourist and thinks "ah, here comes my new punching bag."
What is
a kangaroo?
If someone says, "Bro has no ___," they are claiming this person lacks charisma, charm, or the ability to impress people.
What is
"rizz"?
People are crazy drivers, especially on my street, which happened to be a through street. To get drivers to slow down, my neighbors across the street and I would play this sport, where you hit a ball over a tall net to try to score points.
What is
Volleyball?
The thing you're probably using to play Jeopardy right now.
What is
a computer?
Your friend insists that your cracked knuckles will cause this disease later in life. Even though the strange man on Google said it's true, doctors say there's little evidence to support that claim.
What is
Arthritis?
Despite the category title, Australians survive each year by mastering this advanced survival technique.
What is
leaving wildlife alone?
This strange state-related phrase is often used to describe something weird, cursed, chaotic, or completely unexplainable.
What is
"Only in Ohio"?
During my 7th-grade year, I really wanted to be unique for my science fair project. So I decided to experiment on these gross pest bugs, which are commonly found in homes, eating anything they can get their grubby hands on. But watch out! Turns out, some of them can fly!
What are
cockroaches?
What number comes after 6?
What is
7?
After sprinting around the gym, Google says that you have tachycardia, which means this. I mean, it's not wrong but I highly doubt that you're dying.
What is
A rapid heartbeat/fast heart/high heart rate?
This spider's bite is so concerning that Australians responded by inventing an antivenom instead of simply moving to another continent.
What is
the Sydney funnel-web spider?
If a video gives you "second-hand embarrassment," Gen Alpha may say it caused this type of "damage."
What is
"emotional damage"?
Going to the beach is fun and all, but for about a year or so straight, all the beaches in Florida were closed due to a breakout of this algae. It's deadly to marine life and can cause serious health complications to humans if inhaled or consumed.
What is
the red tide?
What is the color of the White House?
What is
white?