Red & Green Flags
RED OR GREEN: “I've started isolating myself because I don't want anyone to know what's going on.”
RED
What are the two types of meaning?
Meanings that HEAL and meanings that HARM
True or False: “If someone really cares about me, they should always know what I need without me having to tell them.”
FALSE: Healthy relationships involve communication. People can't always know what we're thinking or feeling.
True or False: Asking for help is a sign of weakness.
FALSE!
Asking for help makes you stronger and more independent in the long run.
RED OR GREEN: “I know I'm angry, but I don't want to make a decision while I'm heated.”
GREEN
True or False: Talking or Thinking that includes words like “should," “always”, “never,” “forever" indicate meanings that HEAL.
FALSE: These can HARM. Using these words leads to oversimplifying, ignoring the truth, hurting relationships, and invalidating experiences
Which of the following is a HEALTHY Relationship belief?:
A. “If I say no, I'm being disrespectful.”
B. “I can say no and still care about someone.”
C. “I have to do what people ask to keep them happy.”
B. “I can say no and still care about someone.”
Name at least ONE adult a teenager could go to for help when dealing with a serious problem at school.
Parent/caregiver, counselor, teacher, coach, probation officer, trusted family member, mentor, etc.
True or False: Doing things on your own instead of asking for help is a GREEN flag because it shows independence.
FALSE
Reframe: Instead of saying, “I messed up, so I'm a failure,” what is a more helpful way to think?
“I made a mistake, but I can learn from it and make different choices.”
Healthy or Unhealthy: “If someone gets angry when I set a boundary, that means my boundary was wrong.”
UNHEALTHY!
You’re overwhelmed with school, family problems, and court requirements. You haven't told anyone because you don't want to “bother” them. What could be a first step?
Identify a trusted person and communicate that you need support.
What would be GREEN flag reaction to this scenario: “You recognize that you're jealous when your friend hangs out with someone else."
Healthy and Open Communication
EX: Instead of accusing them of betraying you, you tell them how you're feeling.
Name one HEALING meaning you want for yourself
[This is an open-ended question]
Name 3 things that should exist in a HEALTHY relationship.
Possible answers: Respect, trust, communication, boundaries, honesty, support, equality, safety, accountability.
You ask a friend for help, but they say, “That's not my problem.” What should you remember?
One person's response doesn't mean you shouldn't seek help. Try another safe/trusted person.
What would be a RED flag reaction to this scenario: "Your parent just said you can't have your phone or go out all weekend because of a speeding ticket"
Negative feelings acted out, fighting, lying, etc.
You made a decision that you regret. Name one thing you could learn from it and one different choice you could make next time.
[EX: You reacted aggresively during an argument with your sibling]
[This is an open-ended question]
Your friends keep encouraging you to do something you aren't comfortable with. They say, "Come on, everyone else is doing it."
What HEALTHY belief could help you?
“I don't have to do something just because other people are doing it.”
"I don't need to change who I am to be accepted"
True or False: When asking for help, you need to spill and explain EVERYTHING that is going on.
FALSE!